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I push the doors open and cringe as it makes a squeaky sound that echoes across the hall. When I step through the door, eight pairs of eyes swing my way. We all freeze, looking at each other for a few seconds before they’re all rushing to their feet.
Fuck! I didn’t want to see any of them right now. I’m ashamed of my actions, especially because I couldn’t even do it right. My head definitely isn’t on straight. Obviously, the waiting room is where people would be waiting for you. I somehow missed that while trying to plot my escape.
Then there are the guys. They’re a part of the secret I’m keeping from my friends, and I don’t even know how to handle seeing them here right now.
Because I can never stay away for too long when he’s close, my eyes unwillingly trail over to Mason and my anxiety instantly skyrockets. He’s the reason for all my pain and suffering and it hurts to look at him. I wonder if he’s disappointed that I’m not dead. He wanted me to break and by God, it’s been happening slowly. I think he succeeded. I’m broken now and I’m barely hanging on by a thread.
I shake myself out of those thoughts as tears fill my eyes. We’re still staring at each other like we’re spellbound and can’t look away. I didn’t realize everyone was walking toward me until I finally snap my gaze away from Mason’s.
When I do notice, however, they’re almost in touching distance and I involuntarily take a step back, away from them. I did it unconsciously, but they noticed. All of them stop in their tracks with frowns on each of their faces.
“Please don’t come any closer. I-I can’t deal with that yet,” I whisper, hoping they’ll understand.
“You shouldn’t be out here. Someone go get the doctor,” Mason says.
“We’re just trying to make sure you’re okay,” Royce says as tears begin to slip down my face. The force of my anxiety is choking me and all I want to do is get out of here and not have this conversation, but I answer him anyway.
“Why? You guys aren’t my friends anymore. You’ve all been watching him hurt me and you even helped—” I snap my mouth shut at that last part, realizing what I was about to say. My mind went back to the video they helped Mason make. From the expression on my face, they must know where my mind just went, and I see their jaws clench.
The guilt of not telling my best friends is eating me alive and now that I’m not dead and I have to face them, it makes me feel like the worst friend in the world.
Grayson, not paying attention to the fact that everyone has stopped moving closer to me, rushes over and wraps me up into a hug. I can’t help but flinch, pulling away from him. He looks at me with a hurt expression on his face, but I don’t have the strength to give him any comfort right now, nor do I want to. He hurt me too.
“I-I need to go,” I stammer out as I rush past them and start running. I see some of the nurses and other people watching me with wide eyes like I’m crazy. Well, maybe I am. I am running through a hospital half-naked with bare feet for everyone to see. At least I have panties on so that’s a win!
I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. Not wanting to waste time waiting for the elevator, I run straight through the door with the sign above it that reads stairs and begin running down. When I make it to the ground floor, I’m out of breath. I look around for the exit that leads outside and when I see it, I run right through the door and into the freezing cold.
I stop for a second as the sun blasts my face, blinding me for a second. I obviously didn’t think this through, seeing as I don’t have a phone or a vehicle. How the hell am I going to get out of here?
I can’t walk because I might freeze to death. Deciding I’m just going to risk it, I start running again. I make it about two steps when large arms wrap around me, just under my breasts, stopping me and pulling me against a broad chest to keep me in place.
I know it’s him because his scent blankets me and it’s scorched into my soul. I have no idea why this is the moment I choose to break down, but I do. I scream and let out some gut-wrenching sobs. I can’t bear his touch. It hurts too much.
“Please let me go. I just want to go home,” I sob out, my body shaking with the force of my sobs. I’m hoping he’ll let me go but he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps me wrapped in his arms—arms that no longer feel like safety or home. Instead, they're filled with coldness and pain.
“You can’t leave by yourself. It’s cold. You don’t have a vehicle, no phone, and for fuck’s sake, you don’t even have on clothes or shoes! We’re taking you back to the house,” he says, before letting me go for a second. He takes off his coat and puts it around me then zips it up. His gesture alone brings a new wave of tears to my eyes.
“I don’t want to go there anymore,” I say as I try to pull away from him, but he just wraps his arms around me again, tighter this time. He’s holding me like he’s scared I’ll disappear, but that can’t be right. He hates me and remembering it makes his touch hurt even more.
“Let go of me!” I finally scream out at him, bucking and trying to get away from him but he’s so motherfucking strong, I don’t stand a chance.
“I’m just trying to help you. You’re not well enough to be out here by yourself,” he snaps, losing his patience with me.
“Your touch hurts,” I whisper through the pain. “Every time you touch me, you hurt me. And now? Now every time I feel that touch, the pain in my chest hurts so bad it literally feels like I’m being burned from the inside out. All I want is for the raging inferno to stop consuming me. I just want it to stop… How do I make it stop?” I beg him for an answer I’ll never get.
He lets go of me like he was just burned by my words, and I fall to my knees, not able to keep myself up any longer. I clutch my head, willing the pain to go away as more sobs rack my body. All I want is for this pain to go away...
“It hurts to be alive. It hurts to breathe. It hurts so much knowing how much you hate me and knowing that no matter how big of an asshole you are to me, there’s still a part of me silently begging for you to let go of all this hate and be the guy I fell in love with again. But I know that’ll never happen. Maybe our parents were right, and we were never meant to be together. Look at what that’s turned us into. We’re both in ruins and we keep hurting each other. This isn’t what love is supposed to be like. This isn’t how your soulmate is supposed to treat you.”
Riley rushes over to me and helps me up. “Come on, let’s go,” she says as she pulls me toward the parking lot. We get into the car along with Luna and Avery while Royce hops into the driver’s seat.
I don’t say anything to anyone else and remain silent as we start driving. Riley has me wrapped in her arms as Royce drives. When I see we’re driving in the direction of the house, I start to freak out. I can’t go into that house anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to again if I’m being honest.
“Nooo! I can’t go back there!” I scream at Royce. I try to blindly open my door by feeling around for the handle, but it’s locked. I start screaming again, begging him to stop the car. I’m shaking so hard right now.
Royce lets out a curse before he pulls to a stop on the side of the road. Again, I try to get out, but nothing happens. The other car with the rest of the guys is behind us and a second later, Royce’s phone rings.
“I don’t know, man, she just started freaking out,” he says into his phone.
