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WINTER
Death sucks.
Especially when it’s someone close to you. It sort of puts things into perspective and makes you think about your own life, like when it’ll end. Mine has basically been hanging in the balance these past few weeks and I don’t know how many more lives I have left since I keep escaping certain death. At some point, it will all come to an end though, won’t it?
I just wish Martin had the same chance as me. Now I know that the heart I got on my doorstep was his. I mean, I don’t have proof but I’m certain it’s his. Receiving a heart and then Martin being found without his can’t be a coincidence. There’s no doubt about it and whoever murdered him did it to fuck with me like they’ve been doing since I moved back here.
Obviously, that eliminates the guys as suspects because they’ve all known Martin for years. They wouldn’t have any motive to kill him, right? Then again, who the hell knows what goes on in those assholes’ minds these days.
They’ve literally been showing me psycho tendencies since I’ve been back here so I don’t know if I would put murder past them. I sigh. It’s best to keep them as suspects for now. I don’t want to be blindsided later when I do find out who is responsible for his murder, and somehow, I will get to the bottom of it.
He deserves to get justice for his senseless killing, seeing as that is exactly what it was. If I think about it too hard, I feel guilty. Deep down, I know I’m the reason he’s dead. Whoever killed him did it to send me a message. Martin was my one source of normal and now I’ve lost that too.
I keep wondering when the hell I’ll stop losing the people I care about. Those thoughts keep running through my mind constantly. I want to leave and just go somewhere far away. When I look at it, I’m the common denominator and for some reason, I’m the only one left standing.
But as much as I want to run, I can’t. I have responsibilities and they don’t involve just me. They involve thousands of people’s lives, and that’s the only reason I keep trying my best to not fail even though there are so many obstacles stacked against me.
How the hell do all the CEOs out there carry that weight around on their shoulders every day, knowing that they have to take care of so many employees? I mean, I know some of them wouldn’t care but my father and his before him built this company by making sure that their employees matter, and they were cared for. That’s why we’re at the top of the game.
Though maybe not so much since I’ve taken over. Everyone seems to hate me because of what they see in the media even if half of it is untrue and not my fault. It’s sad that we live in a generation where as soon as we see something being said about someone, we’re ready to crucify that person even if we don’t have any facts to go on. Being in my position isn’t all glitz and glamor, unfortunately.
Yesterday, I went to bed with a heavy heart and woke up with one this morning as well. Though that feeling isn’t a strange one because it’s how I’ve been for a long time. It’s been so long that I barely even notice the weight of it all sometimes. It isn’t the best feeling but at times you just have to cope.
It felt weird staying here alone in the office apartment last night. I still consider it to be my dad’s and not mine. I feel like I’m just waiting for him to come and take it all back from me. I’d happily give it back too.
Since Carson decided to help me out for a while longer, I don’t need to be here as often as before. Well, it’s not like I was, anyway. At least now I won’t be stressing over it too much, knowing that someone has my back for the time being.
Since it feels so weird and creepy being here alone, I have a realtor who’s going to be showing me apartments later today. I won’t be staying in the King mansion any longer. I can’t bear to be there anymore.
So, this morning gives me some time to go to Ravenwood U and sort out my life there. I already have an appointment with the dean so I can’t wait to get that over with. I’m still lying in bed as I take out my phone to look at my schedule.
On the agenda this morning is school, a doctor’s appointment—shit, I totally forgot about that—a meeting with the realtor and then that business dinner with Antonio. I’m kind of excited to be going on a date after such a long time. I need to unwind a little and I feel like a date will definitely help.
I get up, get dressed and am out the door in no time, well, the elevator. The apartment has two entrances—one from my office and the other is an elevator that leads straight down to the parking garage.
I take the elevator down and once I get to the garage; I hop into my car and drive out and onto the streets. Today is a nice day though it doesn’t fit my mood. I’m still devastated about Martin’s death.
I’m almost halfway to school when I notice an obnoxious Bugatti following me. I groan. What the hell is this asshole on? One minute, he hates me and the next, he’s trying to act like we’re together.
One minute, I’m nothing and the next, I’m nothing but his. The whiplash from his actions is causing my head to spin. I should report his ass for stalking.
If I had to guess, I’d say he doesn’t like the fact that I didn’t go back to their place last night. The idea of him worrying or even caring that I wasn’t there brings some satisfaction. I’m glad he’s worried, and he can stay that way too. I’m not telling him what the hell I’m doing. He doesn’t get to take away pieces of me anymore.
I speed up and so does he, which means yep, he’s following me. The question is why. I don’t understand why he’s here. He makes such a big show of letting me know how much he hates me, you can understand why I’m confused now, right?
When I eventually pull into Ravenwood U’s parking lot, he pulls up a few spaces away from me and then gets out of his car too. Before I even know what’s happening, he’s wrenching the driver’s side door on my car open.
“Where the hell have you been?” he snaps when I finally deem it necessary to turn to look at him.
“Who’s asking?” I question in a calm tone that makes him look like he’s ready to strangle me.
“Don’t fucking play games with me, Winter!” he snaps. “I asked you a fucking question!”
I was looking straight ahead when he wrenched my door open, but now I turn sideways which puts our bodies closer to each other. Our faces are a breath away from each other, but I make sure our lips don’t touch.
His lips are like poison, and I don’t want to get caught up in the toxins again. We all know I turn into a fucking ninny whenever I get close to him even when he’s just playing me.
“No, for the first fucking time in months, I’m done playing games. You no longer have the right to ask questions about my life, so don’t concern your pretty little head with what I’m getting up to because you’ll just get yourself hurt. Then again, you don’t have a fucking heart, so I doubt that’s possible. You and I,” I motion pointing between us with my finger, “are done. So, stay the fuck away from me.” I turn back around and notice his girlfriend there staring at us, shooting daggers at me. “Go talk to your whore. She’s over there waiting for you,” I say.
