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“I’ll leave you to it,” I nod at the folder. “Call my office to let me know who you’d like to meet.”
I push back my chair and stand as Cash nods without looking up. I’m dismissed. As I should be. I shouldn’t have come.
My heart beats in my chest as I walk to the door, hoping he’ll call out to stop me, or say something. Anything. But he doesn’t and I keep walking.
Tessa sits across from me on my couch eating lo mein from the container, and I stare down at my own carton like it’s made up of fried toads. “Eat,” Tessa says, pointing her chopsticks at me.
“I’m not hungry,” I mutter, putting the fried rice down and picking up my wine glass.
Tessa moves closer to me, and force feeds noodles into my mouth. “You can’t survive on alcohol. You need to eat.”
I smile begrudgingly at her as I chew. “It was awful,” I say sadly, remembering how Cash dismissed me without a glance.
“So you said. Why did you go there anyway?”
I blow out a breath. “I have no idea. I needed to see him. What is wrong with me? I’m obsessed with a man that can’t stand me. I’m clearly delusional.”
I’ve never been this woman. I’m legitimately sick to my stomach over how pathetic I’ve been.
Tessa raises her brow but doesn’t refute my claims. “I think I should move in with you.”
I laugh. “You just like this apartment.”
“I do. This couch is so comfortable, its closer to my job, and you can’t be alone without doing stupid things like showing up at millionaires’ offices and throwing yourself at them.”
I know she’s just teasing me but she’s not wrong. Maybe I overestimated my ability to live on my own.
“Seriously, how am I going to watch him date these women?”
“Honestly? I have no idea. This just went from bad to worse. Like I thought you had a minor crush, but this isn’t that.” She waves her hand in my pathetic direction. “I think you need to tell Marion what’s up and get her to take over this case.”
My eyes bug out. “Absolutely not. It’s bad enough I have to tell her about Steven’s affair. I can’t tell her what a colossal mistake I’ve made when it comes to Cash. She’ll absolutely reconsider leaving me the company.”
Tessa’s shoulders sag and she gives me a perturbed look. “You’re annoying like this.”
Affronted, I say, “Like what?”
She circles me with her finger. “All whiny and woe is me. I’m sorry but this is just…No.”
“Um, in case you forgot, my husband left me for his secretary. I go on vacation, meet a dream man, and then come to find out I can’t date him because he’s my client. And now he isn’t interested in me even after he’s found out I’m getting divorced. I think I’m allowed to wallow for a bit. To have some feelings about the whole thing.”
Tessa doesn’t take the bait. “Yes, you are allowed to be sad. But this attitude isn’t that. You’re a smart woman, Grace. Smart enough to realize when your husband left you that it was a good thing. Marion is a wonderful woman who loves you. Tell her the truth. Lean into her. And move on from Cash.” She rolls her eyes in annoyance. “I get that he was the first guy you had sex with after your separation and that maybe puts some unexpected emphasis on this, er, relationship, for lack of a better word. But it wasn’t a relationship, Grace. He’s someone you spent a weekend with. Not a lifetime. And you’re more broken up about how he’s treating you than the fact that your marriage is over.”
I flinch at the accuracy of her words.
“I just think that maybe you are projecting some of your feelings over your failed marriage onto a situation that honestly wasn’t that big of a deal.” She breathes out a long breath and looks up at me. “I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear, but part of me feels like you’re a little naïve since you’ve been out of the dating scene for so long. I mean me and the girls, we’ve experienced this plenty of times. This is dating. I don’t know how else to say it other than—move on.”
My lips twist uncomfortably. I can’t tell her she’s wrong because she’s probably right. And for the thousandth time I remind myself that although I thought there was something special, I’m sure Tessa has felt the same thing as well. She’s telling me that. So who am I to tell her she’s wrong? She’s more experienced.
Resigned to the truth, I reply, “I’ll talk to Marion in the morning.”
Tessa looks up to the ceiling in silent prayer. I can’t say I blame her. I just wish I knew what to pray for.
The pit in my stomach doesn’t feel any less leaden when I walk through my office door the next morning. Knowing that I will chicken out if I go into my office, I march straight to Marion’s. Her eyes rise to meet mine and I stare at her poised frame. With her gray hair perfectly styled and her black glasses on, she looks like she could be running a fashion magazine rather than a matchmaking company. Her smile falters as she meets my eyes, and she slips her glasses off her face, motioning for me to sit. “Grace, you look awful. What’s going on?”
Not exactly how I hoped to start the meeting, but I guess it was only a matter of time before she realized that I was falling apart. I slink into the seat and give Marion a half smile. Then I breathe in, close my eyes, and reopen them, gathering the strength to tell her the truth. “Steven and I are getting a divorce.”
Marion nods once, then stands and comes to sit in the chair beside me. “Are you okay?” she asks, in such a way that it makes me feel like I can really not be okay.
