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I shake my head. “Not really.”
Marion pushes closer and pulls me into a hug. I feel myself break against her shoulder, surprising both of us. Marion’s hand traces my back in soothing circles, and she whispers into my ear that it will be all right. I allow the woman who has become such a big part of my life to ground me and then I inhale a breath and pull myself together.
“I’m so ashamed,” I say honestly.
Marion nods her head. I appreciate that she doesn’t tell me how to feel. She doesn’t say that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. As an adult, I know that. My brain understands that. But it doesn’t change how I feel.
“I am proud of you,” she says as she stares at me.
I laugh through my tears. “Why?” I ask incredulously. “I haven’t done anything to be proud of.”
Marion shakes her head. “That’s not true. You know your value. You stood up for yourself. And you didn’t accept less than what you deserve.” She eyes me, her face saying more than she’ll ever put into words.
My mother didn’t value herself. My mother never stood up for herself. My mother accepted so much less than what she deserved. And we both paid the price. A miserable relationship. A childhood destroyed. I am sparing myself from that. Sparing Steven from that. And thank God we were smart enough not to bring children into this.
“She’s going to be so disappointed in me,” I say honestly, wringing my hands together. My mother loves Steven. She’ll never understand how I could walk away. She never would.
Marion tuts her cheek. “You leave her to me. You take care of you. Do you need time off? We can go on a trip together. Or shopping. A spa day?”
I laugh at her attempts to spoil me. It’s all the things she did every time my mom called begging her to take me for the weekend, so that my mother could work things out with the man in her life. It didn’t matter who it was. There were a few. And none of them wanted a bratty middle schooler around who didn’t allow them to scream at her mother. I stood up for her. I never understood why she couldn’t stand up for herself, let alone for me.
“I’m okay. I just needed to tell you. I took the time I needed in Florida. I’m rested. I’m coming to terms with this new life I’m leading. It’s different–dating–seeing the world from this view.”
Marion nods in understanding. “You found Steven so young, you never really had to try.”
“You’d think I’d be better at this given our profession,” I admit meekly.
“It’s so much easier to tell someone what to do, how to feel, to see it from the outside, than it is to experience it.”
That is precisely it. All these feelings are confusing me. I don’t understand them. I can’t categorize them or quantify them or slip them into a chart and make pros and cons as to what’s right, because now it’s my heart that’s involved rather than someone else’s.
“What will our clients think?” I ask honestly. “I mean, how can I give advice on finding the right person if I couldn’t even pick the right one for myself?”
Marion just stares at me. “Don’t you worry about that right now. You have to lick your wounds. And you’ll be busy enough taking over for me. Now is not the time for self-doubt.”
“You still want me to take over?”
Marion smiles. “Oh, my Sweets, yes. You are prepared. It’s your time. And it is my time to retire.”
I smile sadly. “I’m going to miss you. I don’t know how to do all of this without you.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Asher is not going anywhere. We will always be your family. And I’ll still be around the office. Maybe giving some tips on couples since that’s really what I prefer to do. Work my magic like I used to. But the business side of things? Grace, it’s your turn. And I have the utmost belief that you will do just fine.”
She reaches out and squeezes my hand as another tear slips down my face. I wipe it away and remind myself to breathe. “Are you sure you don’t want to go shopping?” she asks, with a half smile.
I shake my head. “No, I need to start moving forward. I’ve been drowning my sorrows in alcohol, flirting with the wrong men, and eating too much. It’s time to focus on the day-to-day.”
Marion raises her eyebrows. “One can never go wrong if they are flirting, even if it’s the wrong kind of man. Sometimes, that is precisely what we need to pick ourselves back up.” She winks at me as she stands and rounds back to her side of the desk, and I’m left to wonder what she thinks she knows, and what she thinks of it all.
Chapter 19
Cash
I couldn’t put my finger on what the problem was, but something odd was going on at work. Distributors we’d worked with for decades were looking to change their contracts all at the same time, each citing different reasons and expressing concern for the future. That in and of itself wouldn’t be much of an issue since our company had suffered a shake-up. Despite my best efforts to paint this as a planned succession, my grandfather’s absence raised alarm bells to distributors that they had the upper hand. On top of that, now a longtime bottling company whose owner had always been loyal to my family was seeking a meeting as well.
I had an uneasy feeling that everything was spiraling out of control. I’ve been so preoccupied with my feelings for Grace that I haven’t been focusing on what really matters—my family’s company.
Chase waltzes into my office without knocking, and I’m so worn-out from phone calls that I barely glare at him. “Ever thought to knock?”
