AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I unfold my arms and take a small step toward her. There’s still several feet between us, so she holds her place.
“Doe,” I tell her, keeping my tone even. “I know you were scared today being alone. I could hear it the couple of times we talked. It’s okay to tell me the truth.”
She drops her eyes from me, opting to look at her clasped hands. I give her the minute she obviously needs to gather her thoughts. When she lifts her head, the brave front she’s been fighting to hold is no longer present. The frighten look that replaces it isn’t the intense one I’ve seen on her face so many times before, but it’s still present. However, her jaw is locked in stubbornness.
“I was scared, okay?” I give her a chin lift. “I don’t like being alone in this place I don’t know, but I’m determined to push past it. You’ve done so much for me, and I know you won’t always be there. I need to learn to be on my own.” She pulls in a shaky breath before she continues. “So no, I wasn’t okay, but I was okay.”
Admiration… That’s what I feel for Doe right now. From the scars she carries, both physically and mentally, this woman has been beaten down repeatedly, but she must be one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. Most women in her situation would have crumpled and been left a blubbering mess, but not Doe. I may not have known her before, but I have no doubt that what she’s been through has only made her stronger and more resilient.
I nod, letting her know I understand, then remember my conversation in the parking lot with Tavers. I wonder if this dinner will be too much or if I’ll be even more surprised with how she handles it.
“You remember my partner, Tavers, and his wife, Mindy, right?” She nods. “How do you feel about them coming over for dinner tonight? Mindy’s been asking Tavers about meeting you.”
Although I’ve already told Tavers that it’s a go, if Doe says no, I’ll call him and tell him we’ll do it another time. I know they’ll both understand.
Uncertainty clouds Doe’s eyes for a moment, but the look clears. “Okay.”
I take stock of her fingers gripping each other tightly and the way she holds her body stiff. I know she doesn’t really want to do this, but again, she’s fighting her fear and anxiety. If it wasn’t for the fact that what she said a few minutes ago about me not always being there, I’d let her off the hook and reschedule for another time, but what she said was true. It’s only been a few weeks since she was picked up and taken to the hospital, but even so, it’s better to learn now how to function in society than to learn to be dependent on someone else.
Again, I’m proud of her for trying.
“It’ll be a few hours before they get here. I’ll grab some meat to defrost. The day’s nice, so we could grill. Maybe it’ll help to be outside instead of cooped up in the house,” I suggest, trying to make the prospect of meeting people she’s never met before more appealing.
She still looks nervous but nods anyway. I step closer to her, not stopping until I’m only a few feet away. She fights with herself on whether to move back, and after a moment, she decides to hold her ground.
“Tavers and Mindy are good people,” I tell her, bending my knees so I’m eye level with her. “They won’t judge, and they won’t hurt you.”
“I know,” she says softly, her throat bobbing as she swallows.
All of a sudden, I feel a need to reach out and touch her, give her some type of comfort, to make her believe that nothing will happen to her. Life is full of unpredictabilities, but for some reason, I want to protect her from them. I want to be that force between her and anything that could harm her.
I take a step back, not at all sure I care for the strong desire to be her protector. Of course, I wouldn’t want anything to happen to her—not only because it’s ingrained in me from being a cop, but also because I consider myself her friend—but this feels like something more. Something I’m not entirely sure I should be feeling, so I shake the feeling away.
“Why don’t you head outside and check on your flowers? I’ll bring us some waters, and we can sit outside for a while.”
It’s not normal for me to enjoy sitting idle. I like to move, always doing something, but I find I like sitting outside with Doe. Even if we’re just sitting in silence or she’s reading her book to me. It’s peaceful.
“Okay.” She turns and makes her way to the back door, looking down at Betsy as she trails beside her. I only see the side of her face, but I don’t miss the smile that has her lips tip up as her and the dog walk out the door.
I watch through the window as both female and canine go straight to the flowerbed. Doe drops to her knees, inspecting the weed situation. Something tight forms in my chest, and I grunt at the pain. Reaching up, I run my hand over the back of my neck. I turn away from the window and head to the fridge to pull out a package of steaks.
* * *
Several hours later,I pull open the door to let Tavers and Mindy in. I left Doe in the kitchen cutting vegetables for the salad to give her a couple of extra minutes.
I clasp Tavers’ outstretched hand then knowing how Mindy is, I turn my cheek just as she steps up to plant a kiss on it. When she pulls back, she has an anxious smile on her face. I’m glad she’s so excited to meet Doe. It’ll give Doe the opportunity to make a friend, and I know Mindy will be a good friend to her.
“Are you sure it’s okay to be here?” she asks, keeping her voice low. Tavers puts his hand at the small of her back when she pulls away. “I certainly don’t want to overwhelm her.”
“I think she’ll be fine. She’s strong and determined. Just don’t get too close. She’s still working on that.”
Mindy nods. I glance over at Tavers and see him giving me a look I don’t like. His eyes hold concern, but his jaw is set into a hard line, as if he knows something I don’t. I have a feeling I know what he’s thinking, and he couldn’t be more wrong. If Mindy wasn’t here, I’d flip him off and tell him to go fuck himself, but she is, so I settle for turning my back and ignoring him as I lead us to the kitchen.
I walk into the kitchen first. Doe’s still at the counter. She keeps her head bent, looking down at the half-sliced tomato, but the knife stops, so I know she’s aware of our presence.
It’s normally a simple thing to meet new people, but in Doe’s case, she not only has to overcome her anxiety of being around people because she feels lost from her lack of memories, but she also has to face the fear of rejection or disgust from all the scars she carries. I know it will make no difference to Tavers or Mindy, but Doe doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know that Tavers and Mindy won’t think less of her because of the proof of the abuse she endured.
I feel Tavers and Mindy at my back, but I don’t move to the side and let them enter yet. I don’t like the thought of them seeing her in such a vulnerable state.
