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Amica—who was squeezing my hand to the point where it was almost painful—scolded, “It was not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for being poisoned. That’s completely ridiculous and I won’t hear it. Obviously I wasn’t there to see for myself, so I can’t say for sure, but it’s definitely possible that one of the Red Bones could have poisoned that drink and Bennett was simply the messenger.”
I arched my brow in disbelief, confused as to why she would try to defend him. “That’s really reaching there, Amica. I guess anything is possible, but that would mean the Red Bones were somehow in the castle.”
Mendex and Amica looked at each other, speaking with their eyes. Both had a dreadful look in their eyes, as if they wanted nothing more than to stay silent on the matter.
“What?” I asked in anticipation.
Amica’s eyes were glossy as she brought her attention back to me. “Rhia.” She paused, gathering the strength to speak. “There were Red Bones at the masquerade, a lot of them, actually. They infiltrated the castle, and with the masks we had no idea who was who. You must have been up at the tower when they began their attack. I’m still in shock. I had no idea how large their numbers were. The Royal Guard was able to get it under control, but a lot of them escaped, and many of our people were hurt or killed.”
Bile threatened to come up my throat as my mind wrapped around the events at the masquerade. I just couldn’t believe that this had happened. Guilt swallowed me whole as I thought about the horror my people must have gone through while I was off screwing around with Bennett. My people needed me, and I wasn’t there. I’d trained my entire life to protect the Veladins from an attack like this, and I failed. People died; I could’ve saved them. Their blood was on me.
“I should’ve been there,” I said with a shaky voice.
“You are not responsible for their deaths,” Amica said, as if reading my thoughts. “Even if you were there, you were poisoned and most likely would’ve been killed. The poison would have prevented you from being able to fight at all.”
If I hadn’t let my damn feelings with Bennett get the best of me, I would have stayed with my friends. I could have protected them. I wondered if Bennett had planned that all along.
Mendex chimed in, concern in his features, but a reassuring calm in his voice, “We have already interrogated the court and servants to weed out possible Red Bones working undercover. We haven’t had another attack yet and I don’t think we will for a while, but we started preparing for one. The guards are training twice as much as usual, and the king has ruled a decree that any found member of the Red Bones, or someone found housing or helping one, will be hanged. He’s been going stir-crazy around here, stressed beyond belief.”
I nodded, agreeing with the decree and hoping that there could be some justice found with the hangings, but then a question struck me. “Wait, how long have I been out?”
Mendex said, hesitating slightly, “A week.”
I gasped, struggling to prop myself up on my elbows. “A week?!”
Holy shit, I can’t believe I’ve already missed so much. I should’ve been out there in the city, looking for Red Bones and contributing to this inevitable war.
Mendex grabbed my other hand, giving me comfort as he looked at the worry on my face. “Rhia, when we found you in the infirmary, you were almost dead, and not just from the poison. You were bleeding internally, multiple ribs were broken, and bruises covered your entire body.’” I looked over to Amica to find her wiping tears from under her eyes.
Oh, my stars, was I really in that condition?
Mendex continued, “Can you remember how this happened? How did you get away with the poison?”
A sudden memory overtook my vision, and it felt like I was reliving it all over again in the presence. I shuddered as the sound of a whip replayed over and over and over again in my mind, and suddenly my heart rate skyrocketed, and I felt overwhelmingly nauseous. I gave Amica a warning glance and she immediately understood.
She ran to get a small trash bin, bringing it over to me as I sat up in the small bed and hurled into it. It was more of a dry heave as there was hardly anything in my stomach. I gasped for breath in between each gag as my throat closed up in panic. Amica’s hands found my heart and her craft poured into me as she slowed my heart rate, bringing me down from the panic attack. She pulled me into a hug, giving me warmth and comforting pressure from her embrace. I took deep breaths, breathing in her scent of cinnamon and clove and grounding myself back down to reality.
“I’m going to give you two some privacy,” Mendex said in a nonjudgmental tone, noticing I needed space and time with my best friend. “Rhia, I’m so happy you’re still here with us, and I’m proud of you for fighting to stay alive. Please, rest, and if you ever need any company, I’m only a few doors down.” He rested his hand on my back quickly, offering a gesture of compassion before stepping out of the curtain and drawing it closed again.
There was nothing I had against Mendex, he was my friend, and I was really growing to love him, but there was an overwhelming sense of peace that settled over me just being alone in the arms of my best friend.
Amica rubbed her hand up and down my back, continuing to hold me. “Rhia, we don’t have to talk about what happened. It’s absolutely valid and okay if you aren’t ready.”
I sighed deeply, pulling out of our embrace. I refused to let this memory throw me in a cage of fear.
“It was Saeva.”
She gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “I didn’t even think he was still alive!”
Amica knew all about Saeva and my past with the circus. She was one of the few who knew the trauma he had caused me.
“He’s one of the Red Bones. He even told me himself.” I took a shaky breath and put my head in my hands. “It was horrible, Amica. He beat me over and over again. The worst part was he had his whip that he used on me in the circus, and he laughed as he flayed my back to shreds. I can’t remember everything, but I can remember the pain. It was like I was reliving my nightmares all over again because I couldn’t fight back—my body was paralyzed from the poison. I felt like I was the helpless little girl I used to be before I was saved from the circus, my life being completely in the hands of another instead of in my control.”
“Oh, my stars. Rhia, I’m so sorry.” She wrapped her arms back around me tightly as she sobbed, sharing my pain with me.
I gasped, pulling myself out of her arms as I realized I also longed for the comfort of my other best friend. “Miles! Is he okay? Where is he?”
She looked uncomfortable as she backed up on the bed. I felt guilty for not asking about my friend sooner and I silently prayed that he was still alive.
