AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHAPTER 29
Iwas barefoot on the grass as I walked across the lawn. The sun was setting, and the night became cooler, the breeze causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I found Miles standing on the dock by himself. His hands were in his pockets, and he was looking out at the lake, his back toward me.
I’d thought about this conversation for years—I’d planned on telling him for so long and now that the time was here, somehow I still didn’t feel ready. I knew I should’ve told him long before now, but what kept me from bringing myself to tell him was the fear of this confrontation. The fear of him seeing me differently kept me from telling him this secret, and I was afraid since I’d put it off for so long, all I’d done was just make it worse.
I trusted Miles, I really did, and it wasn’t the lack of trust that kept me from going against Pater’s requests, but rather wanting to hide that part of my identity. The less people who knew I was the king’s assassin, the easier it was for me to continue living two different lives, to ignore what I’d done and been through, but at some point I knew that was going to end. I had to face these two aspects of my life, figure out who I really was, and step into that chosen identity for myself. I just prayed I wouldn’t lose Miles in the process.
I took a deep breath in, letting the cool air relax the tension in my body. When my feet hit the wooden panels of the dock, Miles turned to face me, his eyes widening in surprise.
“You’re okay!” He gasped, running towards me and wrapping his big arms around me.
Well, shit, this is going way better than expected.
I squeezed him back, feeling at home in his arms. I rested my head against his shoulder and relaxed in his embrace, breathing in the familiar scent of black pepper and leather.
I let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, my stars, Miles, I thought you were going to hate me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that we can both move forward from this. I was so worried that you would see me differently now, but—”
His body went rigid in my embrace. “Rhia, stop.”
He pulled away from me and I looked up to find that his expression had gone from relieved to hurt.
Well, shit, I should’ve known it was too good to be true.
I took a few steps back, forgetting everything that I rehearsed in the castle on the way over here. The pain in his eyes broke me, and every word I wanted to say got stuck in my throat.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked bluntly, his eyes glossy.
I avoided his intense gaze. “Miles, I always wanted to, but—”
“But you didn’t,” he intercepted, his tone starting to build with tension and anger.
I looked up at him and pleaded, hoping he could see the truth in my emotions, “I wanted to, I promise! I always planned on telling you, I—”
“Then why didn’t you?” he bit out.
I had to calm my irritation from the constant interruption, understanding that Miles was speaking on justified anger. “Miles, it’s complicated. There were rules I had to follow where I couldn’t tell anyone of my position, and—”
Miles lifted a shaky finger. “EVERYONE KNEW BUT ME!” He brushed his hands through his hair and turned his back to me once more.
“Actually, most people don’t know,” I responded meekly, but now was probably not the time for semantics.
He turned back toward me, completely disregarding what I previously said, and began to pace on the dock. “You kept a huge part of your identity hidden from me while I’ve let you see every part of me.” He was right. Miles and I shared everything with each other. Well, everything except this. “It just hurts to think that you don’t trust me.”
“Miles, I do trust you!” I choked, my throat beginning to burn. I hated seeing him like this, to know that I was the root cause of this pain.
He laughed. It was a painful laugh, the kind that burst out when anger was strong. “Well clearly you don’t, if you told Amica and Bennett.” He spit out his brother’s name, as if it was poison, letting the inner sibling rivalry show through.
“I didn’t tell Bennett,” I explained. “He found out on his own and promised he wouldn’t say anything.”
He lifted his hands and shrugged. “And I suppose that’s supposed to make it better?” he asked sarcastically. “Is that why my father started having you train with him instead of me? So you could have a worthy opponent to train with for your assassinations?”
I opened my mouth to protest but couldn’t get any words out before Miles continued on.
“And what about Amica? You could trust her, but not me? Am I really that beneath her?”
He looked at me now how I’d often secretly looked at myself. As if he was staring at someone he didn’t know, someone he didn’t want to know.
One second I was staring at Miles, and the next I was five years old again and standing before my father.
