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It was a kidnap that started this, I reminded myself, scolding myself for even thinking the idea.
"She might really want something, boss. It could be something abstract, as in not real, just a gesture," Ryan added once more after my long silence.
"You should focus on driving, man," Tristan said sternly, and Ryan remained silent.
I knew what I had to give Vanessa, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It had been staring me down all day, but I had been too afraid to think about it.
It was impossible for me. I knew. It was a selfless act, but I was not selfless when it came to her. I desired her with all my heart.
"Do you know where I can get some flowers in this area?" Ryan smiled, pleased to be needed.
"I know the ideal location, boss," Ryan replied before making a U-turn.
Flowers—that I can do.
* * *
I only hope it will be enough, I thought as I stood before my own home, hesitant to enter.
"Are we waiting for someone, boss?" Ryan askedas we stood by the car. I stood there, holding a bouquet, staring at the front door.
I had Tristan call the house before we arrived and find out where Vanessa was. She was sitting in the living room downstairs.
I took a long, dry breath before summoning the courage to step inside. As I walked over to meet Vanessa, my steps were quick, and I was filled with doubt. She was the only woman who made my heart race so fast.
Did she want to see me? Did she still hate me? Did she even like flowers?
Ryan was convinced that all women liked them.
"Good luck, boss," Tristansaid as I walked up to the door.
Here goes nothing. I was about to walk up to the door when it was yanked open by the guards inside the mansion. I followed my feet into the living room with the flowers, seeing no reason to hide them behind my back.
Vanessa sat on a sofa, her legs tucked beneath her. She raised her head for a brief moment to look at me before returning her attention to the book in her hand. I recognized the novel from my study, but she didn't have it open. She hadn't been reading, just holding it and staring into space, lost in her own thoughts once more.
I sucked in some air and puffed up my chest despite her lack of encouragement for me to approach.
She had just been bathed and smelled lovely, tempting me to bury my nose and lips in her neck. Her soft hair was loose over her shoulders, and she was dressed in atop and shorts. Even though I knew she wasn't trying to impress me, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
"I got you flowers," I said as I extended the bouquet to her.
I wanted to explain to her that I am not good at this, but I knew that would come across as insensitive.
Vanessa looked at me with lifeless eyes, as if daring me to try to affect her. I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, because I had lost whatever control I had over her.
I missed her so much that I just wanted to hold her. It didn't matter whether she cried on my chest or simply held me back. I just wanted her to be in my arms. Everything about her heightened my desire for her. My body yearned for her. And my heart yearned for her love and the ease she'd once had around me.
To her, I was now the enemy.
Her expression conveyed her discontent with the flowers.
"I miss you," I said the words I had been wanting to say to her for three days. I dared to reach for her face and wave her hair out of her face despite her silence.
"Say something to me, anything," I begged, desperate to hear her voice again.
"Just leave me alone, Ethan," she said tiredly. "A flower will not make me happy. Thank you, but just— " But just leave me alone, I knew she was going to say.
She opened the novel and began reading it.
