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22
Gigi
Not many days kick my ass. Plenty try. But they don’t succeed.
Today was not one of those days. It seemed like the obstacles at every turn were unsurmountable.
Added to that pain, I overheard a few of the Canadian girls talking about how they were going home for a quick Thanksgiving visit. I was happy for them and told them so. Then on the drive home, it started to hit me.
For maybe the first time in my life, I was missing home. Really missing home. Ever since I was young, I’d travel for sports. Your team becomes your second family and having a big family had always appealed to me.
This feeling was foreign to me, especially at my age.
I felt like I didn’t belong.
Which was so completely wrong because I really did belong here, on this team. I’d earned everything that I’d been offered. Even still, I couldn’t put a finger on it.
While I made supper, I’d lit my candles and put my music on low. That just put me in an even worse mood. It reminded me of when Beau had played Dad’s guitar. He hadn’t done it again, not since the first show had aired.
Then I remembered Beau coming into the kitchen while ‘Wheat Kings’ was playing and how he’d danced with me—and kissed me.
From there, it was just one swirling toilet spiral into now.
Beau had just left after showering, putting on a white dress shirt that took my breath away, and smelling so delicious, I had been in a hormonal haze after he’d walked past me on the couch.
As soon as he left, I dashed into my room and grabbed the chocolate bar I’d hidden. This was definitely a chocolate kind of night.
There I was, curled up in my blankie, watching a sappy love story gone wrong on the TV and shoving in chocolate square after chocolate square into my mouth. It wasn’t even the crying part yet, but I started crying anyway.
I was prepared for that, however. Before I even sat down, I’d brought a box of tissues with me.
Then it happened.
Half a chocolate bar, eight used tissues, and Beau walked back into our apartment. My ever-loving heart sunk. The one thing in the world I didn’t want Beau to see was completely spread out around me.
“I forgot my—” he said, then stopped. “You okay?” he asked, his voice so warm and tender, it made me silently cry even more.
My back was toward him, so at least he couldn’t see my face. I nodded, holding in the mother of all sobs. He spoke to me in French, breaking my heart even more, “Geneviève, turn your head. Let me see your face.”
Almost violently, I shook my head. There was no way in hell I was going to let him see me like this. The sound of his dress shoes tromping toward me, made me instinctively pull my blanket over my face. “I’m fine. Have a good time. Bye,” I said, unable to stop sniffling into my blanket.
The very next second, he pulled the blanket away from my face. “Why are you crying?” he asked, his eyes frantically searching my face.
“Just a bad day. It happens,” I said, shrugging and wiping my eyes with the crumpled up tissues in my hand.
“What happened? You didn’t say anything all evening,” he mumbled, handing me fresh tissues.
“Nothing, really. Honest, it’s just girly stuff. You go have your fun night. I’ll be totally fine,” I said, lying my face off. The thought of Beau going out whoring around with God only knows who, made me even sadder.
“Tell me what’s wrong? I’m not leaving until you do.”
Crap, crap, crap. The one thing I’d learned about Beau was that he meant what he said. He really wouldn’t leave me to my night of self-pity unless I spilled.
So, I spilled.
“The team’s playing like complete crap, I can’t figure out what Niki should do after hockey’s over for her, half the team is going back home for Thanksgiving and the other half is traveling with them. My good sports bra died. When I was at the gas station, someone made fun of my accent and told me to ‘Go back to Canada, eh.’ I keep pissing you off and you think I have a crush on our veterinarian when I totally don’t—I only think he’s unbelievably handsome, and kind, and you haven’t played the guitar again since that first night you moved in. Plus, it snowed back home today. First snow of the season.”
My body started shaking as I let out all of my bottled-up emotions for the day. “Oh, and the only candy they had at the store was this. Not even one Coffee Crisp. Can you believe it? The cashier thought I was insane when I asked. No ketchup chips either. How can I live in a country with no Coffee Crisp or ketchup chips?” I let out another sob, letting my homesickness get the better of me.
