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Idon’tevenknow what time it is. All I know is that it’s been a long time since I’ve eaten so much food, drank so much wine, cried, and laughed so much. I’m not drunk, not exactly. Just buzzed enough that I’m feeling relaxed and not like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
After brushing my teeth and washing my face, which Coen left me alone to do, I rejoined the guys—my guys—and told them everything I’d already confessed to Coen.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,”Alec roared before calming down enough to look at me. “This changes nothing between us, Baby. I love you. You and me are endgame, and I’m not letting anyone—not even you—come between us. I’m not happy about what you did, but it changes nothing.” Then he closed the distance between us and kissed me with so much passion and love.
I’ve never seen Kas’ normally calm and mischievous blue eyes flash with so much anger. “Sweets, I don’t know whether to be angry and sad about what you went through, relieved you’re telling us, or angry you thought that would change anything for me. What you did wasn’t cheating, and not just because we weren’t technically together. No, you survived, and I’m so proud of you for that. I love you, and I always will.” Instead of coming to me, Kas pulled me into his waiting lap, and I went willingly. Melting against him as he kissed along my neck. “We’ll make him pay.” He promised, before claiming my mouth.
Coen didn’t come to me, even after I freed myself from Kas’ hold. “You still haven’t said it, Mia,” he said, and it wasn’t until several minutes later that I remembered what he was talking about.
Too exhausted and spent to muster up even a little playfulness, I stood up and asked, “Coen, will you be my boyfriend again?”
Rather than answering me, Coen pushed me until my back hit the wall, and with a snarl, he bent down and fused his lips to mine. There was nothing sweet about the way his tongue invaded my mouth. I whimpered in response to his rough behavior, but it wasn’t a scared sound. It was surprise and lust all mixed within that one noise.
“You’re mine, make no mistake about it. But don’t ever fucking push me away like I’m yesterday’s trash. I know I lied to you and broke your trust, and for that, I’m so fucking sorry. But if there’s ever a next time, talk to me.”Coen’s tone was low and menacing, and it made my insides clench together around nothing. “I should have said this almost three weeks ago, but I love you too.” He tilted his head to the side without giving me time to respond and deepened our kiss. His hands tangled up in my hair while mine rested on his cut abs under his clothes.
“Yes, yours,”I readily agreed. I already knew that he didn’t mean that he had a more prominent or stronger claim on me than his brothers, but that moment was for us. Even if they were only a few feet away, undoubtedly watching us, I didn’t bring them into it.
It’s possible that I didn’t realize exactly how much I’ve lowered my inhibitions, because I surprise myself by saying, “I want him to suffer as I did.” I can’t bring myself to look at the three guys around me. Coen is at my back, and Kas and Alec are on either side of me. Coen is stroking my hair, and the other two hold my hands while I look into the flickering flame of the candle. “He-I mean-he…” Unable to find the best words to describe the nightmare I lived under Mr. Riley’s rule, I trail off.
“We get it, sweets, you don’t have to tell us.” Kas whispers and Coen and Alec are quick to murmur their agreements.
They’re wrong, though. I need to tell them this. I can’t keep living with all this in my head, and tonight signals a new start. Isn’t that the universal meaning of New Year’s Eve? A time to reinvent yourself or to make promises you have no intention of upholding.
“I want to tell you, I just don’t know how to describe it.” I look at Alec, knowing that he understands what it’s like to feel powerless.
Alec says, “We all know what it’s like to be forced into severely shitty situations. No one here doesn’t know what it’s like to have your will taken away or your wishes ignored.” I know he’s right. I don’t need to hear about Coen’s and Kas’ pasts to know the statement is true.
“I need to ask you something,” Coen says, not quite able to meet my gaze. “When Mr. Riley… Well, when he did what he did and rubbed his cum into your skin—” A strangled sound coming from Coen’s throat cuts him off.
Letting go of Kas’ and Alec’s hands, I turn around and face the man at my back. “No, Coen, no. I know what you’re thinking, but it was different with you. I needed it from you.” I stroke the scruff on his cheek while my eyes bore into his—imploring him to believe me.
In a stern tone, Alec says, “And now you want him to pay.” It isn’t a question, it’s a statement. Turning to him, I see unshed tears in his eyes. I don’t need or want anyone’s pity, but I’m not sure that’s what it is. Alec is too proud to want or offer pity, so it is more likely that my revelation hurts him—and that he couldn’t help me.
“I do,” I dutifully confirm. There’s no point in lying to them.
“What can we do to help?” I could kiss Kas for asking. Not only do I not want to lose them again, but selfishly, I could really use their support and guidance. They’ve doled out justice before, so they must have a pattern.
Coen leans forward and starts kissing down my neck. “It would be my fucking pleasure to help you break that son of a bitch.” Goosebumps spread across my skin, and a twisted smile spreads across my lips.
Wanting to change the subject to something less heavy, I say, “When I meet your mom, I’m going to have to ask for the recipe for beef wellington. It was seriously delicious.” Even though Coen can’t see it, I lick my lips for emphasis.
I’m not saying it to be polite either. The meal was amazing, and I still feel more stuffed than a turkey on Thanksgiving, courtesy of all the extra servings of the side dishes. Brussel sprouts with chestnuts and bacon, mashed potatoes, and a red wine sauce with so much red wine that the smell alone made me feel drunk.
“I’d say, you all but licked our plates as well.” Kas only sounds half scornful, probably because I snatched his last piece of meat.
Laughing, I lean further back against Coen and pat my flat stomach. “The more weight I gain, the more there is to touch and love,” I say with a wink.
As all three of them laugh, I feel a twinge of guilt.Mark will never be with me again, and I’m not sure I’m allowed to laugh when his body isn’t even in the ground yet.
Thanks to the holidays and the autopsy, everything has been delayed, including Mark’s funeral—which I’m not happy about at all. The thought of him lying in some dank place while being cut open, ugh, the thought alone, makes me shudder. Mark deserves better than that. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met, and if it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what would have become of me. Mark didn’t have to take me in, care for me, and even love me—but he did it, anyway. That’s just the kind of person he is—was—and I can never let myself forget even the slightest thing about him.
“Are you ready to head home?”
I consider Alec’s question for a few moments. “Can we stay here?” I ask, not ready to return. I still don’t feel completely at peace having left Mr. Riley, but the spy cam helps ease my nerves. We’ve all installed the app on our secret phones, making it easy to track his every movement.
I know how easy it was for Martin to tamper with the security tape from Serendipity, and Mr. Riley obviously knows a thing or two about hacking. Otherwise, how did he get his hands on Alec’s money?
“We can stay as long as you want.” Alec is quick to reassure me, and I give him a small smile. I don’t think it’s enough to relay how much it means to me he’s sharing this apartment with me, and I feel like I should say something to let him know—and I will, as soon as I find the words to express it.
