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Mia offers me a bite of her diet cheese taco, and I shake my head. That shit doesn’t even smell right. No way am I going to risk the taste.
“So why tonight? What does all of this have to do with Neil? Apart from—” Swallowing, she trails off, and I don’t blame her. I feel I know exactly what part of my story she’s focusing on.
“Because I don’t want to keep any secrets from you. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I know I love you and want to spend the rest of my life creating memories with you. Until the accident, I never realized how important it is to have them with the people you call family, but now that I do, I want you at my side. However, it’s not that easy, and I guess I want you to know I understand that. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you’re not honest with me—and that goes for CJ and Alec as well.”
Why is Mia looking at me like I’ve just dropped my pants to reveal I’m wearing her underwear? I mentally go through what I just said, and that’s when it hits me.
I love you.
It just slipped out without having any intention of saying it. Even more surprising is that I don’t regret it and certainly don’t want to take it back.
“You—”
Before she can say anything else, I move the plate with her half-eaten taco to the living room table. Then I turn to her next to me, close the practically non-existent distance between us, and slant my lips to hers.
“You heard me, sweets. I love you so much it’s fucking driving me nuts I don’t know how to help you when it feels like you’re slipping away from me—especially when I know I don’t deserve you.”
And there it is—the pink elephant doing the lambada in the china shop. I don’t deserve Mia, and I know it. It has nothing to do with my past, that I feel I’ve come to peace with as much as possible. No, it’s because of how I reacted with my retrograde amnesia. Like Judas Iscariot himself, I denied her. Sure, I didn’t take thirty pieces of silver as payment. All it took were some well-thought-through words from Lila.
“Who are you to decide if you deserve me? Isn’t that up to me? Are you insinuating that I’m wrong for wanting to spend time with you? Is my heart mistaken when it skips a beat every time you give me one of your carefree smiles? I don’t believe in comparing war stories to find the worst one. It’s all sick and twisted. But we survived, and you’re part of the reason that I’m here now. You helped keep me sane during those long nights in Neil’s office.” Mia tangles her fingers into my hair and pulls until I open my eyes and look at her.
Although her brown eyes are shining with unshed tears, there’s a steely determination behind them.
“If my smile makes your heart skip a beat, I’m dying to know what my jokes do to you,” I deadpan. Despite my long-winded one-man speech in the bath, I don’t do serious well.
Mia must decide that the time for talking is over because she stretches to capture my lips again, invading my mouth as soon as I grant her entry. Her tongue strokes mine, and I lower myself on top of her. All it takes for my thoughts to disappear is Mia wrapping her legs around me and digging her heels into my ass to urge me forward.
After our bath, we each threw one of her kimonos on and nothing else. The garment is long enough not to show anything she doesn’t want to when standing. Even though I know I’d only have to look down between us to see her pussy in this position, I don’t. I won’t take that without her offering it willingly, and I’m not going to force it, no matter how much I’m dying to see and taste her.
“I’m not made of glass. You can move, you know,” she quips when I’m just hovering above her.
This spurs me into action, and I deepen our kiss at the same time as I roll my hips against hers. The little minx is already wet, and I groan at the feeling of her juices rubbing onto my cock as I grind myself against her in slow strokes.
“Fuck,” I groan when she tightens her legs to push me closer.
I keep moving against her, rubbing my hardness between her folds in a way she seems to enjoy. Mia arches her back and lifts her hips, seeking even more friction.
“I need… Kas… Oh, God… I need you inside me,” she says in a breathy voice before moving her head to the side so she can kiss and lick her way down my neck. “I want to try something, but you have to keep your eyes closed and lie down on your back.”
I’m so fucking hard for her that I should be up for whatever she has in mind. Should being the operative word because I’m not about to let her fuck me again. I love her on top, but right now, I need us to unite, be one if you will.
“Not this time, sweets.” I moan before I hurriedly flip us to the side and hoist one of her legs up and curl it around my hip so I can position the head of my cock against her opening. And just like Alice, I take the plunge into my personal wonderland. “Jesus.” Even though I’ve already had her once tonight, she feels so good I know I could come in mere minutes.
Instead of fucking her hard and fast, I take my time as I slowly ease in and out of her—almost retreating completely before I push back into her drenched heat.
Mia gyrates her hips, trying to make me go faster. When that doesn’t work, she whines, “Stop toying with me, Kas. I want—” I claim her mouth to shut her up.
“I don’t think so, sweets. You were driving me crazy earlier, and now it’s my turn.”
“W-what?” she stammers.
I bite down on her lip, and I don’t let go until I feel her wince. “You need to tell me why you want revenge on Neil. What’s your end goal? What did he take from you?”
Mia looks at me with a defiant look in her eyes and presses her lips together as if to say I’m not telling you shit.
“It’s okay, I have all night,” I say before pulling almost all the way out and stopping there. “Let me know if you change your mind.” My wolfish smile spreads as I move a hand down between us, but instead of touching her, I cup my balls and gently rub them—accidentally on purpose grazing her needy nub.
“Fine,” Mia reaches for my hand and moves it closer to her core. “He killed Mark, it’s that simple.”
