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On New Year’s Eve, she told us everything he did and what she had to do to survive. Even though it still makes me angry that she gave pleasure to other men, I get it. I understand she was driven by a need to feel anything and maybe even to take some power back. I don’t have to like it to get it.
The thought of Mia grinding on faceless men all while they’re groaning beneath her makes anger and jealousy rear its ugly green head. Unable to lock that shit down, I fist her hips and drive my cock into her as hard as possible.
My movement startles her, and she looks at me with wide eyes. “Kas?”
“You. Are. Mine. Ours. Never give yourself to anyone else,” I snarl as I continue to hold her down on my aching dick.
“But—”
Flashing her a toothy grin, I say, “No buts, sweets. I don’t share with anyone but my brothers.” Moving forward, I capture her bottom lip between my teeth and bite down on her tender flesh. “Never again,” I growl.
Mia’s eyes flash with pride. “Never again,” she echoes.
Her agreement dissipates my anger, and I make myself lean back, so my back is resting against the tub. With a lazy smile, I watch as she works herself up and down again, loving every moan that falls from her lips. I can’t fully let go, not until I tell her the rest of my story. I need to make her understand completely.
Unlike Mia on New Year’s Eve, I don’t just want to lay out the facts. I want my truth to work its way beneath her skin and into the marrow of her bones. What she told us were facts. Nothing more than stating its cold during winter and hot during summer.
I understand that she was scared to tell us what she did with Luis and the others, however, now that she knows we’re still at her side, there’s nothing to fear. She needs to acknowledge the darkness Neil’s woken up inside her. She needs to either embrace it or banish it. There can be no middle ground. CJ and I embraced ours years ago. Alec banished his until he was alone with Neil in the basement.
“I want to come,” Mia moans just before she leans back and rests her hands on my thighs. Her pussy is covered by the water, mostly, and I have to fight myself to not watch her. “Touch me again, Kas. I need your… Oh, Christ,” she moans just as she slams down and my cock disappears completely inside her.
Moving my hand back between us, I add more pressure to her clit and swirl it quicker and harder. She looks so fucking tragically beautiful, riding me with tears streaking her pale cheeks as she moans my name, and I decide I won’t start talking again until she’s moaning with pleasure.
“Kas!” She gasps my name and throws her head back, embracing the pleasure.
“My dad went to the end of my bed where he had a perfect line to see Sarah’s… Well, you know.” I continue as though I never stopped. I don’t have it in me to recap or start over. “He was spewing obscenities and threatening her while stroking himself. He came all over her while telling her that’s all she was good for. I was frozen in place, unable to look anywhere else but at her legs where one knee didn’t look right. It wasn’t until he removed the gag from her mouth and repeatedly plunged a carving fork into her thigh, all while screaming at her she shouldn’t have left, that I noticed what he’d done to her lips. He’d fucking sewn them shut, and she shredded her lips when she screamed out in pain and fear. Dad didn’t stop until she was quiet, and he checked she was no longer breathing. That was when he wanted me to become a man, as he put it.”
My voice feels spent, and it’s nothing more than hoarse whispers, and my body shakes so badly I do not know how she’s managing to stay on top of me.
“Kas, look at me.” Mia’s voice is my light in the darkness. Her presence is keeping me anchored, not allowing me to get lost or stray from my course. “I don’t care whatever comes next. This is where you belong. Inside me. With me. You. Are. Mine. I’m not letting you drift away.” She punctuates each word by moving her hips.
I don’t let myself focus on how amazing she feels for long. “Of course, I refused, and I was forced to watch my dad rape her corpse. ‘I’m lubing her up for you, son,’ is what he said to me. Before everything went black, I threw up. I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly I held the fork, and my dad was splayed out on top of Sarah, bleeding from his throat.”
I stop to clear my throat, needing to get the last part of the story out. This is a now or never moment.
“After I realized what I’d done, I called CJ, and he, his dad James, and Alec came to help me. James only took one look at the scene in front of him and asked whether I wanted to report it or hide it, and I chose to hide it. James threw his car keys to CJ, who drove me back to Nina with Alec before leaving us to help his dad clean up my mess. That was the night I found out about CJ and James’ extracurriculars and—”
Mia’s lips on mine render it impossible to keep talking. I let her control the kiss, unsure of what she’s thinking now. Is she scared? Does she want to run? Does it change what she’s feeling for me? I don’t think she’d be kissing me if that was the case, and she probably wouldn’t still have me inside her, but I’m too scared to hope.
“How old were you?” Mia asks just as she pulls my head toward her full tits, and I latch on to the nipple in front of my mouth.
I bite the peeked flesh, relishing in her deep moans. “I think I was fourteen when I moved in with him… So around sixteen, I guess.”
“You guess?”
Before answering, I move to the other tit and give that nipple the same treatment because I don’t play favorites. “Yep, that’s another thing about my amnesia… It isn’t the first time it happened. Back then, the experts thought it was selective post-traumatic amnesia, and it probably was. The only memories that came back were those from the last three days, the rest is a blur to me. And whenever I think back on it, my mind tells me I was around ten, which makes no sense. Nina, CJ’s mom, thinks that part might be my subconscious trying to protect me by giving me a childlike status. I don’t know…”
“Well, that’s… Different,” Mia muses.
I look up at her face and say, “I very much want to fuck you properly now.”
“I have three questions, Kas. One, is there more I don’t know? Because I don’t think I can stomach any more secrets.” When I open my mouth to assure her I don’t have any other secrets, she holds her finger up and halts me. “Two, why did you tell me tonight? And three, have you ever considered delving deeper into your memory gaps?”
I watch transfixed as she brings the taco to her lips, and I can’t stop watching the way her tongue licks her lips after each bite.
Even though I’m totally rocking her dark red kimono, I feel naked. Stripped bare with everything on the table for her to dissect and reject if she so chooses. Considering that she hasn’t kicked me out and instead kissed me silly while she fucked us both into oblivion, I don’t think I have to worry about rejection—if only my mind would actually believe that.
“No, that’s everything… Well, except for my mom and Marilyn not knowing what dad did. I don’t want them ever to find out. As far as everyone is concerned, dad and Sarah ran off together, leaving me behind. Mom knows dad was abusive, and there was no way to hide the scars on my body. Marilyn doesn’t know any of that, and I never want her to. As for not fully remembering, I’ve long ago decided I’m the happiest that way. If my brain doesn’t think I can handle knowing, who am I to argue with that?”
