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“On that note, I’m going to take a shower!” he says, before leaving us.
“Can’t it wait?” I ask in an exasperated tone, wanting to get all this talking over and done with.
Kas shakes his head as Alec and Coen lead me into the living room. Before we can sit down, there’s a knock at the door, and I hear Kas run back down the stairs before opening it.
“Fuck!” Alec rumbles, not looking happy at all.
I can’t say I blame him. If there really is someone else after me, is it safe to just open the door like that? I feel like after everything we talked through, I’m left with more questions. I’ve never known Kas to be careless, so what’s going on?
“Sweets!” Kas hollers. “There’s a package for you, and no, I don’t mean mine.” Surprisingly, both Coen and Alec chuckle.
We all join Kas in the kitchen, watching the brown package he’s holding. “What is it?” I ask with an almost annoyed tone.
Smirking, he gives me the box with a big A printed on it. “Have you been online shopping? Is it something we would love to peel off you?” I frown at the strain in his cheery tone.
Kas prefers to always be the jokester, but right now, I’m not in the mood for any. I feel antsy and out of sorts. All I want to do is either go down into the dark basement or up to my room to make some calls. The thought immediately makes me feel bad. My night with Kas was amazing. We didn’t just fuck or share secrets, we also talked—like, really talked. I feel as though I’m tarnishing the memory and what we shared now that I’m no longer able to give him my all.
Despite wanting to say something sweet or reassuring, all I manage is, “No, I haven’t ordered anything at all,” in a dry tone.
“Alright, I’ll get out of your hair.” I hate how crestfallen Kas sounds, but while I consider what I can say, he darts up the stairs.
“Baby!” My name comes out as an angry grumble, and my eyes instantly fall on Alec. “Sorry, I’m not angry. But I think you need to be more aware of how you’re treating Kas. The guy would walk through fire for you. After what he’s shared with you, he doesn’t deserve to have you barely answer him.”
As I watch him, my lips part, and my brows crunch together in confusion. “What? I answered him.”
“Barely,” CJ adds. “He tried to make a joke, and you brushed it off. Fair enough if you don’t find it funny or don’t want to engage in banter.”
Okay, maybe I didn’t put my all into answering him. It was, however, only a few hours ago I let him eat me out. He’s the first of them I let that close to my pussy. Even if it was a subconscious heat of the moment thing, shouldn’t it count for something?
Taking the box from my hands, Alec ushers us back into the living room, pulling me into his lap as he sits down on the couch. “I’m sure Kas didn’t tell you much about his amnesia issues, did he?”
“He told me some.” I lift my chin in that stubborn way. They may be his brothers, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to betray Kas’ trust.
Beneath me, Alec leans back and stretches his long legs in front of him. Watching him, I do the same while nestling closer to him. “I’m not asking you to spill his secrets. If he told you something we don’t know, he has his reasons. And the same goes if he held back and didn’t share everything we know. This isn’t about that. This is about his selective amnesia, or whatever it’s called. Every time he thinks back on traumatic events, he risks his mind blocking even more from him.”
“No, that can’t be true.” Since Alec knows Kas better than I do, my instant refusal is almost comical.
CJ sits down next to us on the couch. “I’m afraid it is. He took a colossal risk telling you what happened with his dad. Just as he did when he told us about the night the two of you spent together.”
I tense at the mention of Kas spilling what transpired between us. An angry retort hovers on my tongue, but before I can say anything, Alec defends his brother. “He only told us because he wanted us to know in case he forgets. Kas didn’t want his mind to steal his time with you. That’s why he wrote it all down as a second backup. That’s how much it meant to him.”
At Alec’s words, I feel all the fight leave my body, and I sag against him. “I didn’t know,” I murmur.
Why wouldn’t Kas tell me this? Did he think it would make him look weak?
“Oh my God!” I exclaim. “Is this why he just randomly changed topics? Is he… Is he…” Shit, I can’t even make myself vocalize the question.
With a grave expression on his face, Coen nods. “Probably.”
“We’re not telling you to make you feel bad, but because you need to understand just how big of a deal it is. That’s probably partly why he’s trying even harder with his jokes, and you’re barely paying attention to him. That’s not okay!” When Alec’s voice hardens on the last part, he plants a kiss on the top of my head, probably to let me know he isn’t upset with me. But he should be!
In truth, he has every right to call me out on my bullshit.
All three of them are risking one thing or another for me, yet I barely give them the time of day. And even when I’m with them, it’s hard not to think about Neil and Mark.
“I need to talk with Kas.” I kiss Alec on the cheek and say, “Thank you for telling me.” Then I scramble to my feet, intending to run after Kas, but the mystery box is still on the floor where Alec placed it, and in my haste, I trip over it.
I manage to right myself before I fall. Picking up the box, I take it with me to put it somewhere less likely to get kicked about.
