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I push a hand through my hair, relieved I can verbalize the mess inside of me instead of boxing it away. She doesn’t move, like she’s waiting to see if I have more to say. Do I?
Yes, I do. She deserves to hear more. All I’ve done is justify my behavior. It’s time I quit lying to myself—and to her. “I like you. I like everything about you. And maybe it’s time for me to face my shit with half the grace and courage you’re facing yours, and that includes admitting that I don’t want anybody else but you.”
Her brows rise and that puffy lower lip trembles. She closes the distance between us and puts her hand on my cheek.
“If we do this again, you can’t close me off. You’re going to be tempted, and maybe I will be too. But we need to talk. I don’t want some temporary fling that’ll last until Roman’s in jail. I want something with substance—I want something that’s real. I’ve never had a real relationship with a man, and I’m not settling for anything less.”
“You shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. It’s my job to prove that I’m worthy of you.”
She launches herself into my arms. No hesitation, no holding back. I lift her and take us to the bedroom. There is no hiding under the covers this time. I spread her out on the blankets and slowly peel off every article of clothing she has on. I strip myself down and climb over her long body. The beckoning look in her eyes strokes my ego more than anything she’s ever done.
Our lips meet again. There’s so much I want to do to this woman, but I need the primal connection, to be as close to her as possible.
I slide my hand over her navel and down between her legs to the wet heat I’ve been depriving myself of for weeks. I only want to make sure she’s ready. Grateful that we had the birth control talk already, I position myself and thrust inside her tight, welcoming body. Heaven wraps around me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like myself.
I pause and stare into the green eyes I see in my sleep.
We’re as connected as we can be, and nothing has ever felt so right.
The urge to move overtakes me. I stroke in and out and feel the hitch in her body as pleasure overwhelms her at the same time it envelops me. I capture her mouth once again.
If I had made a list of what the perfect woman for me would be, I’d describe my swan. Someone who can understand both Erik and Cannon at the same time. Someone who doesn’t try to change either man, but who won’t allow the prestigious dancer or the jaded veteran to walk all over her. I want someone who understands what it’s like to have everything you could ever ask for at your fingertips, but then also have to worry about how you’re going to pay for the roof over your head when all that opulence is ripped away. I want someone who understands what it’s like to be used and betrayed by the person you should’ve been able to trust.
I hold out as long as I can, stroking us toward our peaks before I slip my hand between us and circle her clit with my finger. A needy moan escapes her. My thrusts grow harder. I plant both my hands into the mattress next to her head as I buck into her. Her body clamps around me and we explode together.
As I’m coming down from my climax, I pause like I did when I entered her. I’m not done with her tonight, but I’m also not done with this moment. Our circumstances haven’t changed, but everything between us has.
