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He smiles, wide and satisfied. “Oh, we'll come. Don't worry. You're not getting rid of us."
I smile back. “Good."
Enzo shoots me a hesitant glance. “You know... there's a fourth option for you. Just something to consider."
"What's that?"
He bites his lip. “Join our pack. And not because you have to or you think it's the only choice. Join our pack because you want to. Because we'll work our asses off to make you happy. Because you fit with us like you were made for our pack, and we were made for you. Because we'll never clip your wings and force you into a stereotype. Or force you to live the rest of your life out here, trapped. We’ll take you wherever you want.”
"I... Enzo.” I blink rapidly, fighting off emotion and confusion, trying to sort through the chaos in my head.
He backs away from me, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, I shouldn't have said anything. We're supposed to be giving you space, but I want you to know that we'd love to have you however you want to be a part of us. We all feel that way, not just me. So just think about it, okay?"
I nod, throat tight. “Okay."
"I'm going to leave you to relax for a bit and I'll go check on dinner." Enzo all but races out of the library, leaving me staring after him with a gaping jaw.
I don't even know what to think.
The temptation to agree is strong. This pack is amazing and each of the members in it draws me in like no one ever has before. Their scents make my mouth water and relax me at the same time. They were able to give me the best heat of my life. They love books as much as I do.
They’re perfect.
Oliver is all nerdy charm and kindness and a surprising amount of growly possessiveness. Grey has an awkward charm, is quick to apologize and admit he was wrong, and shows hints of utter selflessness. Enzo is the one I feel is the most like me, insecure but really good at faking it, though he still has a reckless charm, throwing himself in head first that I like. And Callan is all smooth charm, confident not just in himself, but in others. The way he waited patiently as I protected myself, or the way he let me lead as I took his knot, not having to prove anything to anyone.
Over time, I'm sure I'll discover even more things to like about each of them. Possibly even love about them. Sometimes I think I'm halfway there.
I could see myself happy here, with them, in this town, finally settled. Even just as part of their pack and something separate like what Callan has.
But Enzo said they want to be wanted, not be a last resort. And he's right. They definitely deserve more and better than that. Joining their pack isn't something I can decide on with a pros and cons list. I don't know what to do. What choice to make.
I don't want to choose them because the other options suck.
If it came down to this pack, or getting to live my life free and alone and however I wanted, which would I choose? Unless the answer is them, I should head to Europe.
I just can't figure out which I'd pick.
We're built to crave a pack, a family. One we build ourselves, since clearly the ones we're born to aren't always a happy or healthy place. But when you get to choose your own, you can end up with something wonderful. And I could have that here. And I could still have it even if we're successful in our fight for equality.
Do I really want to spend my life alone just because I can?
I don't know.
With a groan, I grab the book I'd started the other day, trying to forget about all of this shit for a little while. It doesn’t really work.
So, I head upstairs to my room instead.
Where I find a dead rose on my pillow, the strong stench of roses permeating the room.
I back up towards the door until I'm in the hallway, my eyes glued to the flower, as I yell for the pack. Their footsteps thunder at the panic in my voice, surrounding me and helping banish the disgusting smell.
"Did any of you leave me a present?" I ask, my shaking hand pointing towards the bed.
Growls answer my question.
