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AS THE DAY CONTINUES on, I calm down, focusing on getting Robin whatever she needs to keep Plan A progressing. I'm going to feel terrible if she goes to all this work only for me not to use it. Though I suppose she can just pass it on to the next person.
The library has everything I could possibly need to handle it, and I make liberal use of the scanners and printers and computers here. Oliver hovers close, but he doesn't bring up what happened back at the house, though occasionally I see a flush to his cheeks and a glitter in his eyes when he thinks I'm not looking.
I don't know why I'm so unsettled over it. I've tasted every fucking inch of that man. He's been inside me and I've been inside of him. Though that was during the heat, when my inhibitions were obliterated, when any reserves or logic were nowhere to be found.
The problem is I have those things back, but the desire for them hasn't gone anywhere. I still want them. I want to go to bed in that nest and fuck them all until I black out every night. Or I want to pile up on the couch and watch anime. Or wander the town and go dancing. Or travel and go on adventures. My time here, with them, has been the most fun and enjoyable of my life. But the deeper I fall with this pack, the more it's going to break my heart when I leave them behind.
With the threats coming from so many different directions, it's hard to make a decision, to choose the right path. The easy choice would be to stay here with them and become a part of their pack, which makes me feel like it's the wrong one. Life isn't fucking easy or fair and I've never believed in happy endings, especially ones that fall in your lap like fate herself has stepped in.
Fate is a bitch and I don't trust her. If she's even real. I hope she's not.
"You okay?" Oliver asks.
I blink at him. “What?"
Oliver studies me with worried eyes. “You've been scowling at the cart of books without moving for a few minutes now."
"Oh. Shit. Sorry. I was ruminating on fate and her bitchiness."
His face clears. “Ah. I'm not sure I believe in fate."
"I'm not either. Why don't you?"
He rakes his hand through his hair. “I guess because if fate is real, then what's the point in trying and fighting? And if fate is real, then all the hard work I've put into my life, into my work, into my relationships, into myself, are meaningless, because wouldn't I have all of that regardless of my work if fate is the reason I have these things or am this way? I hate the thought of that."
I stare at him, something warm unfurling in my chest at his words, chaotic as they were. That's exactly how I feel too. He gets it. He gets me. The whole damn pack does.
He frowns at whatever he sees on my face. “What?"
I might be a little bit in love with this omega.
What else can I do but press him against the bookshelf and kiss him silly? He freezes for a moment before growling and yanking me closer against him, sweeping his tongue into my mouth, teasing me into a deeper kiss, one that has us grinding against one another and panting and biting back moans.
When we finally pull away from each other, eyes bright and out of breath, Oliver cocks his head to the side. "What was that? And what can I do to make sure it happens again?"
I chuckle, licking his taste off my lips as I smooth down my hair that he'd had fisted in his hands. "We should get back to work."
"I still owe you a spanking. I haven't forgotten." Oliver winks at me before he saunters off.
I curl my hands into fists to keep from reaching out towards him, wanting to drag him deeper into the library and have my way with him on a pile of books. I never knew I had so many filthy fantasies before. These men have really ruined me.
Back at the table that I've claimed as my own, Rose and Trix are gone, probably off to make out somewhere, finally leaving me in peace. I adore both of them, but they are not quiet people and they make it very difficult to focus. And they're even worse when they're together.
I've been working almost exclusively on my fictional story, not in the mood for rants and essays repeating over and over again the proof that shows the laws governing us are arcane and ridiculous. But it's meant a whole new type of research, which has been fascinating if also frustrating.
Realizing a book I need isn't here, I leave the table to go track it down, but it's not on the shelf where it belongs. Where the hell did it go? Did I miss it in the pile?
I return to the table to double check, freezing in horror at the dried rose petals covering the table, that scent of rose strong all through the aisle. I barely hold in the scream as I stumble backwards, fumbling for my pepper spray. But it's not there, because it's still somewhere on the floor back at the house.
Fuck.
My heart crashes in my chest as my gaze darts around frantically, searching for the threat.
"Hello, omega. I think it's time the two of us had a talk." A cruel hand wraps around my arm, yanking me deeper into the shadows of the stacks.
I jerk against the grip, fear and fury washing over me, but he's strong.
