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I crossed my legs and hovered my body over the table, moving closer to him. “Sam does us no good in the lower decks, scrubbing toilets. Think with your head and not your heart or your dick. You want my allegiance, you have it. You want him gone so I can’t pull away from you - don’t be ridiculous. You know this ship is dangerous. You want me and the boys safe. You know he has experience in mechanics and engineering. He owes me his life and will do what I ask to pay that debt. Put him on nights. He won’t be in the room when we sleep and you will have another ally - another set of eyes helping you.”
Dean opened his mouth, ready to rebuff, but snapped it shut.
“Focusing your energy on getting him away from us is a waste of time. We need to create a support system here. He’s an easy addition. I can handle him,” I added.
Dean’s eyes moved side to side in thought, and I took advantage of the moment. “What’s her name, Smith?” I asked, pointing to the kitchen. “I’ll go ask her for to-go plates. You let what I said marinate.”
I hurried across the empty room toward the steel appliances, my heart thudding in my chest. I didn’t have Dean’s caress for debate, but I had solid points. Smith met me at the door with a soft smile. I imagined it was because I was sans Dean.
“Hi. Could I bring a tray back to my quarters? You know how boys are,” I said.
She laughed and agreed, then showed me around her workspace, proud of all she had accomplished. I was happy about the tour so Dean could mull things over.
She filled reusable containers to the brim and then emptied an entire tray of rolls into a large plastic bag. “Boys are bottomless pits,” she chuckled, handing me the food. “If you need anything at all, please come see me. Just bring those back rinsed.”
I thanked her and headed back. Dean stood, slightly bent over the table, resting his hands next to his plate. He didn’t turn when he heard me coming, and I sat and continued eating my meal until he was ready to talk.
He left to go check on the boys, circled the room once, and had another conversation with Smith before he resumed our discussion. It was a power play, his game to see if I would beg. I kept my resolve.
“Nights it is,” he clipped, knocking on the table twice. “He needs to prove his loyalty to us. I hope you are right about him.” He took our assignments and folded them back, shoving them in his pocket. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to take you all to breakfast and bring you updated papers. I expect to be let in this time.”
“Yes, I understand. Will he start immediately?”
“Two weeks,” Dean answered. “He can do a lot from a chair if needed. I have to go. Can you find your way back?”
I set down my utensils and rose to my feet. “You are making the right decision.” I circled the table and brought him into a hug. He was making the right decision, and not just because it was the right thing to do. I knew in my gut we could trust Sam.
He snaked his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. “I’m not letting you off the hook on the sex,” he joked. I could feel his laugh rumble in his chest, but I knew he was partially serious. He pulled back and brushed his lips against mine, then tilted his chin upward and kissed me on the head.
As he walked away, I mumbled, “I love you, Dean,” mostly to myself. I had love for Dean Riggs, and I hoped I still would when this was all over.
The boys played happily with the Smith kids, and I hated pulling them away. I stopped by the kitchen before I left to see if I could set up a time to get them all together again. I waved hello and Smith came back over.
“I have to go, but our boys seem to enjoy each other’s company quite a bit. I’m Rowan, Rowan Lawson. Do you have a first name I could use?” I asked.
“Lori,” she beamed. “Please Rowan, Lori is perfect. I’m so happy to get them together anytime. Are they starting school next week?”
I bit my lip and leaned against a counter in her kitchen. “Um, I assume so. I’m just a bit all over the place at the moment.” The truth was, I should know. Had I been military, I would understand the inner workings of this ship. The intake papers had information about the boys’ enrollment, but I had become focused on Sam’s assignment. Lori was unphased by my comment and continued to shuffle around pots and pans.
“Well, there are far fewer children than they expected,” she said, sliding knives into open slots. “I know because I heard a few teachers pissed about their work orders. They moved them to agriculture because we didn’t need as many. They need to get over it. We are lucky to be here. Maybe they should take a moment to grieve why they don’t need as many teachers.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I felt a pang in my heart. “Right,” I choked. “We all need to keep some perspective.”
The sound of running feet became louder until all four boys stood in front of us, panting. “It’s time for us to go BeLew,” I said. “Let’s get Sam’s food and head out.”
They gave visible pouts and lowered their shoulders. “But tomorrow your mom and I are going to let you play on the deck after lunch while we take a walk in the sunshine,” Lori added. They gasped and jumped up and down. Lori’s boys gave each other a high five, and I winked at her in thanks. Her sons looked a bit older, but BeLew were tall for their age and all four children stood at almost the same height.
Already, the layout of the ship was familiar to me and the boys. They left the vastness of the unoccupied room and took a left without being directed. I wondered how many mess halls were on the vessel. I only had a murky image of the size of our floating home, but in my mind, this ship went on forever.
Ten minutes later, I announced, “Honey, I’m home,” in jest, setting the food and rolls on the small table. The front bed was empty, which meant he had done the exact thing I asked him not to do. This was not boding well for the I can control him promise I just gave Dean. The divider was closed, and Beau yanked it open.
“Why would you get up without me? I asked you to wait one hour, and you said you would sleep,” I bellowed, but when the wall collapsed to one side, there was nothing.
Sam was gone.
