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Chapter Sixteen
Seven Weeks
“Wherearewegoing? What about BeLew? Please, just stop,” I begged. The boys were safe with Lori, but I was frantic. Dean weaved in and out of walkways, dodging view from anyone. He stopped in a dark corner with plywood walls and pushed me back against it, his arms encasing me.
We stood face to face without a word said between us for minutes. I felt his breath, tainted with anger and lust, hot against my skin. My eyes darted around him. We were close to the office.
“I didn’t know about Sam,” I admitted. He remained silent, baiting me to speak, and I failed to resist. “We are going to the office to destroy our files, aren’t we?”
“I always admired your problem-solving skills.” His sharp tone could cut glass. “I hope you didn’t know about Sam, because that would put us all in immense danger. The only reason Matthews isn’t in that office right now is because his senior is at his side until the Galene leaves. He’ll be looking for them as soon as he can, and if he finds them...”
“I know,” I answered. “We’re all dead.”
“BeLew too,” he spit.
I shut my eyes, and hot tears fell. I had fucked up. I wished I could go back to that day on the trail and just keep walking. I hadn’t seen this in any dream, or I would have known better.
“Let’s go,” I mouthed. “What are we waiting for?”
The office door next to us opened, and Dean wiggled his eyebrows. A few people walked out, and Dean slid his arm around the door, wedging his fingers inside the opening before it closed behind them. I shot around the cracked door and saw his face wincing in pain. “What are you doing?”
“They track the entries,” he hissed. I opened the door fully and stepped through. “It’s how I knew you were in the storage unit. I was in a meeting, which you obviously heard, and saw you where you were. Matthews can’t know what we’re doing.” Once inside, Dean pulled me back against the wall. We stayed flush against it and he yanked a camera from the ceiling in one pull. He let me go and crossed the room, opening various cabinets and pulling out folders I assumed were our files. He flicked a lighter from his pocket and set the flame to a corner.
“You’ve been tracking me around the ship?”
“I see no point in being evasive anymore and especially in this conversation. Consider yourself lucky they haven’t had time to enter all these electronically yet.” His eyes were dancing in the fire he created. As each page burst into flames, he let it fall to the ground and put it out with his boot. “I’m reported to regularly about your movements - electronically and verbally. It seems my distrust was warranted. You know this means your marriage is over, right? To be more specific, Nico - Sam - your husband, now lives alone. They have issued me larger quarters, and you will move in with me. I’ll have someone get your things.”
I had nothing to say in response. Sam asked to stay… for me, but now that Dean knew who he was, our time was up.
Why didn’t he tell me? He put our family in danger.
The memory of the six falling over the edge entered my mind, and I stiffened with fear. I warned Sam about Dean, about me being here under falsehoods, yet he never said a word.
Still shocked by the new information, I took a page from our files and caught it with Dean’s flame. I had no rebuttal and Dean knew it.
I had little to lose anymore, so I seized the opportunity to question Dean’s actions. “Why do you care so much about what I do - about me? It takes a lot of time and energy to follow someone’s every move. It’s not love, Dean. What do you want?”
The fire burned close to his hand, but he never flinched from the heat. He moved his jaw back and forth and bore his eyes into mine, ignoring the sting. “It’s dedication. That’s more important than love, anyway. To dedicate yourself to someone and something. Idiots in love can’t even do that most of the time.”
Dean always got his way. He wanted me away from Sam, and now he had a good reason. I wanted the truth, but it was muddy now. I had given my body and our safety away to Sam, incapable of seeing clearly in his presence. He had chances to tell me, didn’t he?
I watched the flame grow closer toward my hand and the words Lawson Family unit turned to black and crumpled on the page. All I had left were ashes of what our little family never was.
It had been four weeks since the visit from the Galene crew.
Four weeks since I saw our Lawson Family cabin.
Four weeks since Sam had been inside me.
We lived in Dean’s room now. The boys slept on individual cots, which they pushed together in an adjoining room. It separated from ours with an actual door - a door I kept open at all times.
Dean held at me at night. His hands traced down my body, trying to rouse something to begin. I doubted he would wait for permission, yet he insisted on my consent. “It won’t be any good if you don’t want it,” he told me. “I have other women on this vessel begging for it. I’ll be faithful to you when you give yourself to me.”
He meant what he said. I dodged shitty glances from random females more than once. He didn’t fuck anyone from my work crew, thankfully, but my team loved to talk. They gossipped about Dean’s latest conquest nonstop once they realized I couldn’t care less. Sleeping your way to the top was the same in our new world as it was in the old. These women wanted status and protection.
All Dean wanted was to get off.
He never brought the women to our home, and he showered before he came back. He attempted to be respectful, but the effort was lost on me. Sometimes at night, I would awaken to him staring at me while I slept. He would ask if I was having another night terror and what I dreamed about. I must have cried out in my sleep, but I kept my dreams safe inside my head. I only had flashes now - blood on my foot, a fire, and trees.
