Page 40 of A Change Of Heart


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Steph wanted it more than anything.The words were on the tip of her tongue, yet it wouldn't make either of them happy.Short term, for sure.Their chemistry was off the charts.But they'd probably dislike each other after a year or two.Maybe three.She'd most likely resent being unable to travel, which Jason couldn’t do.

He had lives to save here, she wrote books and could do that from anywhere.He needed an OR.She needed a laptop.

"Thanks, but it won't be necessary.I can grab a cab.Besides, I don't know how long it'll be."Steph crawled into bed and pulled the sheet up to her neck.With a thin hospital gown on and an open back, she felt a little under-dressed and vulnerable.

"I don't mind waiting.I got us into this mess."Jason ran a hand through his hair."When I think about what could’ve happened...how close we came...”

"But we didn't.I’m sorry, Jason.I was playing with the radio and distracting you.It’s my fault!”

“No, it was an accident.We skidded off the road, fell about thirty feet down a canyon, and survived with hardly a scratch." He grinned, his deep blue eyes never leaving her face."Divine grace.Perhaps offering us a second chance?Or does that make three?"

"I'm not counting."Steph looked over his shoulder."When I was in the bathroom, I heard you talking.I thought it might be a nurse, but it sounded personal."She didn't want him to lie to her, she wanted to trust him completely.

"Yes.Someone from the hospital."He shrugged."Told them I wouldn't be around tonight."

"Hmm.You said you liked their lasagna."

Jason laughed."I guess I did.Must be true."

She nodded and took a sip of water from a straw.

It was perfectly logical that he'd have a girlfriend or two.Other women had to find him as attractive as she did."Is she pretty?"

His eyes widened."I didn't say it was a she.But yes, she's pretty.Not as pretty as you.Not even close."

Steph knew that if she opened her arms right now, he would show his love and desire, and that it would be real.Deep down she knew that.She also didn't want or need a slow buildup to romance—not after how close they’d been last night.She wanted passion.Like her book characters.

But at the cost of her dreams?Why did there have to be a hitch?Other lovers floated through their relationships with nothing but joy, yet she and Jason always had a major roadblock.

Absently, she rubbed her chest, her eyes on him.She felt so confused.

Yearning for the past eleven years to slide away, wanting to be that starry-eyed young woman in love for the first time.And for the last.It would be so easy to let him back into her heart.She wished she could, oh how she wished.But it wouldn't solve their problems.

She folded the blanket down to her waist."You shouldn't say that about your girlfriend."

"I will never lie to you."

"Do you sleep with her?"

"That is none of your business.But it could be if you'd go out with me."Jason hooked his thumbs into his jean pockets and didn't look like the confident doctor he had a few minutes before.He appeared vulnerable as he waited for her response.

"Don't put this on me.I pined for you for many years.You never showed up at my door."

"I didn't know you wanted me to."Jason shuffled his feet and stared at the floor."Every time I called, you were either busy or in a hurry to get rid of me."

Her head shot up."That's not true.I would never."

"You were grieving.It was the first year I was in med school, and after the shooting."

"Then what?”Steph threw her arms to the sides.“You could have surprised me with the occasional visit."

"Are we going to hash this all out again?Thought we had put it behind us."Jason took two steps toward her.Her stomach jumped.

"We have.It's over.You've been forgiven even if it wasn't your fault."

"There's been no one like you.Not even close."

He held her hand and kissed her knuckles.Their eyes connected, and a thrill ran through her.The way he looked at her, she could see right to his heart.She knew it was hers for the taking and her single life could end right now.They'd have children and build a home together, both following their chosen career.She could have it all.Just not all of him.

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