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Even the groan she let out sounded void of energy. She slumped her shoulders, giving me her eyes. “Nothing to talk about.”
Laura never had aproblem saying things as they were, so when she hid something, it upset me, the concerns from earlier this evening resurfacing. Ibrought my feet up and rearranged us so that she sat between my legs. She had her back to my chest, my arms hugging her middle and my chin resting on her shoulder.
“Iwon’ttwist your arm to say anything, but Iwant you to know that I’mhere for you.”
She snuggled into me, clinging to my hands. “It’sthis wedding Iworked today.”
The story she told me weeks ago about the groom who attacked her blinded me with the same anger Ifelt then. My eyes widened, my fingers flexing on her body, and Icalled for every bit of willpower in me to hear her out, give her space. After amonth of absence, the only person Ishould have been punching was myself.
“Italked to the bride, Giuliana. Ialways talk to them.”
That sounded much less ominous than what I’dimagined. My tense muscles relaxed, and Istuck to my silence. “She told me she has asmall business, like mine. She’saweb designer, so she also works alot with clients. Idon’tknow why, but Iautomatically assumed she’dbe like me, not planning on having kids, focused on growing her business.”
Laura sighed and leaned on one of my shoulders to look up at me. “You know what she said?”
“No, but Iam interested.”
“She said she wanted to have kids as soon as possible.” Laura sucked in abreath and blinked profusely, her eyes gleaming. “That she’dhire some help while she raised the kids, people she can trust. She said and Iquote,Idon’tneed to prove to anyone that Ican do everything at once.”
Her lips quivered and she pulled them in. Imaintained my strong hold of her, not sure what she was saying or what she wanted me to say in return.
“What am Imissing here, Zach?” She turned in my arms and sat on my thigh, adeep scowl marring her beautiful face. “Am Imaking the wrong choices?”
“Tulip, you’re not happy the way things are?” Iprayed she’dsay no. Ididn’twant her to be miserable, but maybe, possibly together, we could change. We could adapt.
“Idon’tknow what Ifeel.” She intertwined her fingers and huffed out air.
Istroked her back, her deep breaths pushing against me. Iheld back from showing the pang of disappointment that hit me in the stomach. But my emotions were not important, not like hers when she felt like the life she had created wasn’tthe life she needed.
“Iguess I’mcontent. Ihave everything Iworked so hard for. This is it.”
Another stretch of silence. Itried my luck. “And?”
“And nothing.” The atmosphere in the room changed, and if Ineeded any more proof, she grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up her torso.
“Stop.” Igripped her wrist, pulling the shirt down, back into place.
Her brows furrowed, and from the soft light in the room her cheeks seemed to redden. “Aren’tyou here to fuck?”
“No, not today.” Ioffered her my eyes and with them the truth. “Like Isaid before, it’sbeen abusy month, I’msorry.” Ialmost rolled my eyes on how my emotions clogged my throat, making talking that much harder. “Imissed you.”
Her brows furrowed further, the creases in her forehead deepening.
Irushed to correct myself. “Sleep isn’tthe same without having someone snore in my ear.”
She sighed alaugh, lightening the air around us. “You’re an asshole.”
My ears enjoyed hearing her joy, even if it was mingled with calling me an asshole. Iaccepted it. Imarveled at her, and my lips spoke on their own accord before my brain got the memo that it would’ve been abad idea. “Ihope you don’thave work tomorrow because we’re both taking aday off.”
“Zach, Idon’tthink I’ll ever get used to your randomness.” She shook her head, her beautiful grin never leaving her face. “What are you talking about now?”
Icouldn’ttake it back, and if Ithought long and hard about it, being honest with myself, Ididn’twant to, either. So again, Ijust said it. “We’re going to take the day off and you’re going to love it.”
