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CHAPTER 25
LILY
The following day, Mat mentioned nothing about my little episode the night before. I was thankful for him not bringing it up. It was humiliating and had made me feel like I should be hauled into an asylum and locked up. In my mind, I’d conjured my mother’s voice telling me repeatedly what a waste of space I was. How I had failed her in every possible way and that I would never be considered a Luna.
“Ready to go, Pudding?” Mat asked when he stepped into my room. Luckily, I’d been bathed and groomed already, feeling like myself again.
“Pudding?” I asked, raising a brow.
He smirked, stalking around me like a predator. “You look different.”
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
“It’s an observation,” he merely replied, his eyes roaming down my form.
The nurse had given me warm black leggings, boots and a fleece plaid dress of deep green and black stripes. Mat sported yet another red plaid; no beanie this time. My eyes travelled down him too, lingering on those horrid worn boots.
“Like what you see?” He asked with a wicked grin.
“Why do you wear those ugly boots?”
His expression changed immediately, and he looked down at them, twisting his foot to inspect it from all sides. “Ugly?”
My brow was still raised, arms crossed over my chest as his gaze lifted back to mine.
“They’re not ugly,” he said, sounding completely innocent.
“Someone lied to you.”
He narrowed his eyes on me, but his lips twitched into a half-smile. “Glad to see someone’s feeling better today.”
“Are you going to give me a tour?” I asked, nodding towards the door.
Amusement danced in Mat’s eyes, which he rolled before finally smiling. “So pushy.”
“Come on, let’s go.” I took hold of his shoulders, swivelling him around and pushed him towards the door. “I’ve been cooped up in here for way too long and it's finally stopped raining.”
I couldn’t let my darkness cripple me. I wouldn’t. This morning, I’d looked myself over in the mirror with new determination. The remnants of the bruise staining half of my face had turned black and blue, making my light eyes stand out against the dark discoloration. It didn’t hurt anymore, but was unpleasant to look at.
My hair had been washed, combed and cut, reaching just past my shoulders now. My lips didn’t hurt anymore, and my throat was almost completely healed along with the soles of my feet. The fur-lined boots they’d given me helped. I hadn’t dared looking past my neck and shoulders yet, afraid of what injuries I might find there. This morning when the doctor removed multiple bandages and sutures from my abdomen, I’d kept my eyes closed. Had even asked one of the nurses to help me get dressed after my bath, which had fortunately been filled with bubbles, creating a blanket of foamy comfort. Mat’s orders, apparently.
If the rest of my injuries looked anything like those on my face, I wasn’t sure I would be able to stomach it. Especially considering how swollen and tender some areas still were, even after two days of enhanced healing. Since I clearly wasn’t ready to face it yet, I decided to postpone it altogether. One area at a time. Today was my face and it was a hard pill to swallow. Tomorrow, I’d take on another area.
Deep red scabs ran down the sides of my head, starting from my ears. You hurt yourself, Mat had said. I hadn’t realised the severity of what I’d done, my only concern having been able to hear the rain again. But this morning, in the daylight, I could clearly see the damage. I’d clawed the skin open.
Slowly, as we made our way down the steps of the infirmary, Mat hooked his arm into mine, being mindful of my healing body. He was the perfect gentlemen and took me for a stroll around the courtyard, telling me about his pack, how things worked within it and who I might be meeting. Sure enough, not more than ten minutes later, the first person made their acquaintance, and it had been one of the people Mat had informed me about. He certainly knew his packmates well. As he showed me the rest of the pack grounds, more and more of his pack members came up to greet us. All of them welcoming me with bright smiles, despite my dreadful appearance.
“Stop squirming, you look great,” Mat had said somewhere in between meetings, making me realise that I’d been wringing my hands together. Although I’d lowered them to my sides, I couldn’t stop wondering what his pack mates must have been thinking - seeing their Alpha with a woman who looked like she’d cheated death. I did. My chest constricted. I did cheat death. At the thought, Mat’s gaze flew to mine, and he took my hand in his, the warmth of his palm chasing the darkness away. Whether it had been my breathing or my heartbeat, he’d known, sensed something was up and was there to pull me through it. A pillar of strength for my damaged mind to cling onto.
For lunch, he took me to a little stone bench by the south-eastern border. It was beautiful and overlooked a jutting mountain peak covered in greenery. Trees and ferns decorated every inch of it, all, except for the very tip which was made up of solid rock. Bright yellow pillows had been placed on the benches and a fat picnic basket sat on its stony surface.
I glanced at Mat, who was grinning from ear to ear.
“What?” He asked, shrugging, “I don’t get many visitors.”
He gestured to the space beside him as he took a seat, opening the latch of the basket and taking out containers, plates and napkins.
“This peak is called Mandara,” he said without looking up. Mat placed an empty plate and stainless-steel cup before me. “It means calm.”
