But with Becka, the thought of her being mine but not feeling anything for me… of not being able to feel for me because of what I was, gutted me like a fish.
I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the counter with enough force to feel the edges bite my skin. They would be ashamed of me.
I hardened myself against the thought and beat it back with a sledge hammer. They weren’t here, and I had survived doing what I had to, then found a purpose. End of story.
My gloves and suit went on the floor, letting the cleaners know to come pick them up. I took a shower to clean the blood off and put on one of the fresh suits I kept in the bathroom closet.
Fighting back a killer headache I plopped down at my desk, then took out my phone.
Luca: It’s done. He learned his lesson.
Matteo: Good.