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18
Jessica
Goosebumps trailed down her arms and chills ripped through her body. She could never have dreamed up a guy like Ian. There had to be something wrong with him, right? There was always something wrong, even with the ones who looked good on paper. She saw it all the time. Men who’d come into the diner pretending to be one thing but ended up being something else entirely. She’d just gotten used to it.
But it was the way he would say the sweetest things to her to make her feel like she was the only woman in the world. That was new. Sure there were customers who knew how to flirt with her. That could be fun, but it wasn’t real. It was like Ian was teaching her how to be loved, like she’d been doing it wrong her entire life.
Growing up around men like Tucker had its drawbacks. For instance, at any moment she expected him to ask her for something. Money. Favors. But that wasn’t Ian. At least she didn’t think so. He’d given of himself from the moment he’d whisked her away to his ranch.
Jessica studied him in the semidarkness, every sharp angle and plane of his face. The way his mussed hair would fall onto his forehead in the most adorable way. She wanted this—whatever it was. But what if it was all a façade?
“What are we doing, Ian?” The whisper escaped her lips before she had a chance to keep it locked up where it should have stayed. Why was there this nagging doubt that she was doing something wrong? Was she moving too fast?
The back of Ian’s fingers brushed against her neck then he grasped the back of her head. His fingers got tangled in her hair as he tilted her chin up. “How do you want me to answer that, Jessica?” His husky voice sent a fresh wave of chills through her body.
Her stomach swirled and folded over much like she imagined a tumultuous ocean would. Jessica took a deep, shuddering breath and lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know.” That wasn’t entirely true. Her heart wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him like her life depended on it. Ian was the only good guy she’d met in ages. He liked her. If she waited too long, he could lose interest and find someone new. The thought caused an arrow of terror to rip through her heart. Jessica’s heart beat faster and her breaths came in spurts. After having a taste of this kind of relationship, she didn’t want to risk losing any of it.
How was it she was already so dependent on him? It wasn’t healthy. Her brain seemed to refuse to let go and succumb to this desire she had for him. She needed to remain free, it reminded her. Free from relationships. Free from hurting other people. Free from whoever looked for her.
Ian’s brows dipped. He frowned. “I know that look. Something’s wrong.”
Jessica looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Using his knuckle, he turned her chin so she would look into his dark eyes. “Liar.”
She frowned. “We barely know each other. You can’t possibly read me that well.”
Ian took a deep breath. “I think you haven’t had something good in a long time. Or ever, maybe. Then the first moment you get a shot at it, you’re scared.”
“Of course I’mscared, Ian. I’m running for my life.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. You’re scared of opening yourself up for fear of a possible heartache.”
She bit down on her lips to prevent herself from arguing with him. He’d hit the nail on the head, and he knew it. Debating with him wouldn’t do any good. “Let’s say you’re right. Then what? Am I just supposed to accept everything you say at face value? We don’t know each other that well.”
The corners of his mouth twitched into a half-smile. “Are you seriously asking me what you should do?”
Heat seared through her face. The way he phrased it made her sound like she couldn’t make her own decisions. But she needed to be sure he felt the same way. Just because they’d gotten cozy didn’t mean he wanted something serious. They’d only assumed as much based on the way their chemistry had exploded. “I want to know what you would do if you were in my position.”
“If I told you what I wanted, you’d blush right out of those hand-me-down boots.”
Her mouth went dry. Swallowing down the lump in her throat didn’t do anything to relieve the way her tongue had turned into stone in her mouth. Had he just said that? Based on the lack of oxygen going to her brain, he most definitely had. Jessica cleared her throat. “Okay. So tell me the edited version.”
Without smiling, he studied her. There was no teasing in his gaze. “I don’t fall easily, Jessica. But I fell for you. It didn’t happen in the last twenty-four hours. It’s been happening since the first second I laid eyes on you.”
She racked her brain for that memory. It was hazy. Why couldn’t she access it?
“You ran into the diner because you were late. It had been snowing. Snowflakes clung to your hair and eyelashes. Snow stuck to your shoes, and you tracked footprints all the way behind the counter.”
The memory slammed to the forefront of her mind. She blinked and stared at him. “Tucker bailed on me, so I had to walk to work.”
Irritation replaced the adoration that was written all over his face for just a moment. She was getting used to that reaction whenever Tucker was mentioned. It wasn’t hard to put together that he didn’t have one lick of respect for her deceased ex.
“You were my first customer. You asked for apple pie, but we didn’t have any. So you stayed for a full hour until the frozen one we put in the oven was done.”
Ian grinned. “I’m a sucker for apple pie.”
“I could tell.” She matched his grin. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
