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“I wish I could see it.”
“You will.”
“Jasper--”
“We’re here,” I said.I led her through a gate that had ‘Reflection Garden’ wood-burned onto a small sign on its post.“We built these cabins when Flint and I were teenagers,” I explained.“Micah was just a kid, but he was already into plants, so my mom told him he could do whatever he wanted with this little plot to keep him busy.And he built this.”
Edie’s breath caught.The labyrinth was about thirty feet in diameter, with a path snaking through low borders of seasonal flowers.In the moonlight, the white stones that bordered the path glowed.“Micah lays out the plants so it’s always changing,” I said.“It’s slightly different every time you walk it, even if you walk it every day.”
She had one hand over her heart and started the winding path.“This is so lovely.”
“I like to come here sometimes and think about a problem.By the time I’ve walked the whole thing, I usually have a solution.”
“I already have a solution to my problem.”
“Running away isn’t a solution.”I was behind her, so I saw her shoulders stiffen.“Chickening out when things get tough isn’t a solution.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“No?”
“I’m admitting that my expertise isn’t helpful in this situation,” she said primly.“And I’m removing myself before things get too complicated.”
“Which situation are we talking about, again?”
The path doubled back, so I got a clear view of Edie’s mutinous face as she turned.“Your mother’s illness.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened this morning.”
“It’s no use saying that to a doctor,” she said.“Any time something bad happens with a patient, I have to ask myself what I could have done better.I have to learn from the experience.”
“Okay, that’s fair,” I admitted.“So why not learn from this experience and use it to improve her treatment?”
“You have Dr.Barnes for that.”Her shoulders curved in as she walked the winding path.“I’m out of my depth, Jasper.”
She abruptly turned to face me.At our feet, a fragrant bush filled the air with green scent.Stars gleamed behind her, making her skin glow.“And I’m out of my depth with you too.This is—this thing between you and I, it’s unusual for me.”
I wanted to reach for her, but her body language wasn’t welcoming.“I’m not the type to jump into a relationship either.”
Her eyebrows lifted over the frame of her glasses.“Are we calling this a relationship?”
Are we not?Backtracking, I said, “You know what I mean.”
She shook her head.“I’m not shy about sex, Jasper.It’s a natural physical need.I can make time for it, the same way I make time to work out or sleep.I’ve always sought partners who were looking for physical release without all the emotional baggage.And you do not fit that criteria.”
I was both insulted and weirdly turned on.“Why not?”
“Becauseyouare like emotional baggage incarnate.We met the day I found out my father died.Your mother is my patient.I’m staying here, in this incredible place, because of your family.Your brother hates me.And I keep having these dreams--”
She cut herself off and shook her head.Heat flooded me.I knew she’d been sharing my dreams, but it was something else to hear her admit it.How many times had I made her come in the shared fantasy space we were making together?
But she was too practical to think her dreams were relevant.“Anyway.What I’m saying is, I’m not ashamed of what happened between us the other day.I wish you hadn’t told your brother about it, but I’m not ashamed.”
“Shit.I didn’t tell him.They just sort of ...guessed.”
“They?”She shook her head again, then turned and continued walking the path.“Did you tell your whole family?”
I decided not to tell her that there was a fierce betting pool on when I’d confess my love to her.“I thought you weren’t ashamed.”
