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“Sorry,” she mumbled into my jacket. “I’m excited to see you. And making up for missed hugs.”
She sniffled and my chest tightened as it dawned on me that all the time I’d spent punishing myself, I’d been inadvertently hurting my sister too. I was the world’s biggest asshole.
“Hey.” I pulled back so I could see her face. “You okay?”
“Yes, just surprised.” She wiped the corner of her eye and smacked my shoulder. “I almost poured hot coffee all over Martin Gardner’s lap because I was so shocked when you came in.”
Her expression morphed, and she ushered me toward my booth, looking around like we were about to be caught doing something we weren’t supposed to. I sat with my back to the wall, confused, and she plopped down in the seat across from me.
“I heard a rumor you’re going to be the replacement Valor King.”
“The committee voted like an hour ago. How have you already heard about this?”
“Eloise’s cousin told Maisie, and Maisie told me. So it’s true?” Her eyes went wide.
“Yeah. I was hoping to tell you about it myself, but that’s Kelly Bay for you.”
“Wow.” She leaned back in her seat and stared at me for a moment before a huge smile burst across her face. “This is great. Just…great.” She shook her head like she was dumbfounded.
“Really? Because to be honest, I was sort of expecting the Spanish Inquisition here.”
“Nope. I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever is going on with you”—she waved her hand in a circle in front of my face—“keep doing it. Because this is the closest thing to Old Drew I’ve seen in a long time.”
“Right.” My throat got tight as I sorted out how to apologize for being an absent brother for the last five years. “About that—”
“Oh god. Do you have a whole speech planned?” she interrupted me.
“Not exactly.”
“Okay, good. Please don’t. Because I’m not wearing waterproof mascara today and I don’t have any makeup wipes with me. How about you come over for dinner sometime soon? We’d love to have you, and then if there’s important stuff you want to say, you can do it there. Where I can bawl in the privacy of my own home.”
I hung my head and chuckled. Val always did cry at the drop of a hat. “You got it.”
She beamed. “Great. And bring Sadie if you want. I’ve been hearing nothing but great things about her from Kobie and everyone else involved on the planning committee.”
“We’ll see,” I hedged. To be honest, I didn’t want to share any more of my time with Sadie than necessary. A tremble ran through my hand as I turned the coffee cup over on the saucer in front of me, trying not to think too hard about the impending expiration date on this thing with her. “She’ll probably be pretty busy until her trip is over.”
A knowing look crossed Val’s face, and she put her hands on mine. But before she could offer me any words of comfort, Lillian Dolton let out a whistle fit for summoning a hot dog vendor at an NFL game. Val rolled her eyes.
We both turned to look at Lillian, who gave us a sweet wave and then mimed signing a check.
Val popped up out of the booth and smoothed down her apron. “Gotta go. But text me about dinner. Whatever works for you. You want your usual?”
I nodded and pushed down a thick swallow. Before I could get too far lost in my thoughts about my future—or lack thereof—with Sadie, a familiar streak of red caught my attention.
Gwen and her family came into the diner and looked for a table. Her eyebrows shot up when she spotted me and she leaned in to say something to her husband, Robert. He looked my way with an unreadable expression. Then he nodded, took the baby from her arms, and ushered their toddler toward an open table.
My ribs squeezed as she headed my way wearing a cautious expression. Envy wrapped its inky claws around my heart. I wasn’t jealous of Robert. It was the whole package deal. The loving partner. The kids. The house. That was what I’d imagined for my future with Gwen before the accident, and here she was, living that dream, while I’d spent years wallowing in self-loathing.
It wasn’t that I wanted her. Hell, I was the one who pushed her away. We weren’t meant for the long run together, as much as I was blind to it before the accident. And she only stuck around afterward out of obligation. Because she was a decent person.
But if Gwen—someone who knew me when I was whole—couldn’t love me, how could I expect Sadie to love the broken version I was now?
And why the fuck was I worrying about love?
I wasn’t in love with Sadie. We barely even knew each other.
Deep in my gut though, I knew that wasn’t true. I’d told Sadie things I’d never felt like I could tell Gwen. And she’d accepted me with open arms.
