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I nod, so nervous now.
His frown turns to confusion, as he looks me up and down. “Are you in athleisure wear?”
“Yes.” I swat my hand. “I ran here.”
His face falters. “You run now?”
I offer him a shrug. “In midnight in the park, or else it’s scary.”
“You could just… not go in the park at midnight.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” I give him a breezy smile though none of me is breezy.
He gives me a look. “Not dying… pretty fun.”
I roll my eyes and the frown he has settles on me as he waits. “What are you doing here, Parks? It’s Boxing Day.”
I frown at him. “You came to my house on Christmas.”
He clocks the necklace and swallows. I press it into my chest, try to remember how I felt when he gave it to me last night and channel it to make me brave.
I ball my hands into fists, dig my nails into my hands — there’ll be scars tomorrow—and then I look up at him.
My heart’s going berserk. I wish I could grab on to him, steady myself — he might be the only thing that could.
This is the final frontier for us, I think. The only things left that we haven’t tried to make us work are honesty and vulnerability.
How obvious, you’d think — right? But it’s quite hard when you don’t trust each other.
It’s a deep dive into the darkness, hoping I pull up into some light.
“I love you,” I tell him and the windows of my heart burst open. The room fills with a thousand turtle doves and one little deer.
He blinks a lot. “What?”
“I love — I’m in love with you.”
He’s completely still besides blinking.
A piece of hair falls over his eye and I want to move it away from his face so I can see all of him.
He says nothing.
I say nothing.
He licks his top lip, his breathing gets quicker and louder. “Are you drunk?”
I swallow nervously, hear the sound of it in my own head.
I shake my head.
“At all?” he clarifies.
I go hot under my skin. I shake my head more.
He looks away from me, nodding. Thinking.
And then I notice my own chest moving faster, up and down, the breathing quickens and my brain begins to scramble too because this is not going how I thought it would.
