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She turns around, touches my face with her hand.
“I don’t like it when you’re at odds.”
“I know.” I nod.
“He doesn’t like Jordan?” she asks.
I take the cutlery from her hands, start laying it out.
“I don’t think that’s it. Could be a bit it, though,” I concede.
Mum looks over at me, waiting for more.
“I hurt Magnolia,” I confess.
“Oh.” Her face strains. “Worse than before?”
I consider it, nod once. “Probably. Yeah.”
Fuck, I miss her. Feel like I’ve been stuck missing her for five years now. Had her for a second and then it busted again. Or I busted it, I can’t tell.
“BJ—” My mum frowns.
I give her a look. “I know, Mum.”
Lunch is good.
Dad spends most of it talking about the day he met Mum. We obviously know this story like the back of our hands, Taus too at this point, but it’s new for Jordan. She watches my dad with stars in her eyes — a bit like how my mum still does.
Met at university, first day.
He saw her, followed her to a bar after a lecture (weird, and we always tease him for that part) and asked her if he could buy her a drink. She said yes. They spent the night together, drove to the White Cliffs of Dover the next day because Mum had never seen them, and then he asked her to marry him.
In a day.
Never looked back.
They got married a few months later and they’re the happiest couple I’ve ever seen.
When you know, you know, my dad says.
I think that’s why he gets so angry at me about Parks.
When you know, you know.
We’re meant to be, me and Parks. Right?
That’s what this is about. We’re fated. Woven into the tapestry of the universe, my name right next to hers. We’re in the stars.
That’s why whatever the fuck’s happening right now is so fucked up. We’re meant to be and everyone who knows us knows.
I’ve known since I was six. Known for nearly twenty years she’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with, but I can’t stop fucking up anyway.
“When you know, you know.” My dad looks over at me. “Isn’t that right, BJ?” He gives me a warm smile.
Try to return it, but it’s weak.
He doesn’t say that to be a dick — he’s not a dick. He’s trying to remind me, trying to tell me without telling me.
