Page 187 of The Long Way Home


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I’m with the wrong girl.

Can’t look at Jordan, how much I miss Parks is at an all-time high and I reckon it’s written all over my face; if she sees it and if she has a shred of self-respect, she’ll leave me herself. And good for her. She should, probably. Do the right thing by herself, because I’m not doing the right thing by anyone, I don’t think.

I start clearing plates because I don’t know what else to do.

Henry stands, clears from his end. Follows me to the kitchen, puts the plates down on the bench. Watches me.

“You okay?”

I look over at him, eyebrow cocked.

“Oh, you done not talking to me?”

“Depends—” He matches my face. “Are you done being a dick?”

I roll my eyes. “Hen—”

“—Beej,” he cuts in. “It’s Magnolia.”

“I know, but—”

“—No.” He shakes his head, properly worked up. “BJ, it’s Magnolia. My best friend since I was four. There’s a photo of me and her on the first day of school on the mantelpiece in the next room. We’ve gone on vacations with her family for the last twenty years.”

“I know, Hen.”

“In high school you got her pregnant.”

I give him a look. “Come on, man.”

“No, bro,” He frowns at me. “You slept with her. You told her you loved her. And then you went home and fucked Jordan? I—” He sighs. “What the fuck?”

I lean back against the sink. “I thought we were done?”

“So, what? You thought you’d fucking nail the coffin shut?”

“Yes!” I stare over at him. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because—”

I cut him off. “Don’t tell me she’s not doing the same thing, she is. I’m fucking over it.” I shake my head. “How’s she get away with it and I don’t? She fucks me around as much as I do to her and I don’t see you fucking climbing up her arse about it—”

Henry pulls a face like he’s grossed out and I realise what I said and we both start to laugh awkwardly.

He starts loading the dishwasher. “What do you want from her?”

I shake my head, give him a shrug like it’s simple. “I just want her.”

“Beej,” he gives me a look. “You had her.”

I stare over at my brother, her best friend in the world. Of everyone who loves her in the world I reckon the two of the top three are here in this room. They have the kind of friendship where if he wasn’t my brother and I wasn’t sure she was as loyal to me as she is that I’d feel uneasy about.

If we ever had fights at the weekend when we were teenagers, she wouldn’t sleep in the spare bed, she’d sleep in his. He’s held her through so much shit that I haven’t been able to. I don’t think anyone knows her like I do, but my brother’s probably a close second.

“Do you think I’m good enough for her?” I ask him.

He looks caught off guard as he blinks over at me. “What?”

“Do you?”

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