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His eyes hold mine. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’ll be fine.” I nod and wonder if I’m a bit saying it for myself. “I know he can be… tempestuous.”
Beej licks his bottom lip. “He can be a fucking twat, is what he can be.” I check over my shoulder to make sure we’re safe with those fighting words he’s saying. “He’s not here. He’s doing drugs in Jonah’s office — which I don’t do anymore, by the way.”
He tells me and I can tell he’s proud.
I smile up at him. “Really?”
He nods once.
“For how long?”
“Clean for…” He purses his perfect mouth as he thinks. “Since May. What’s that? Nearly eight months.”
“What happened in May?”
“I don’t know—” He shrugs, looking a bit embarrassed. “Kind of felt like I was disappointing you.”
I stare over at him for a few seconds. “You were.”
“Knew it!” He laughs. “I knew it.”
He grins at me and I’m smiling back but my smile feels like a sun’s rising on my face. Nervous, cautious, light-bearing, hopeful.
“You got clean for me?”
He looks over his shoulder, checking who’s listening but it’s just us in all the world again. “And me.”
My heart cracks open a bit with how much I love him, like daylight breaking through a boarded-up window. I smile up at him, beat down the urge to kiss him. I squeeze his arm instead.
“I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Parks.” His cheeks go a bit pink.
I move my hand down to his and squeeze his index finger. “I mean it. I’m really proud.”
He rubs the back of his neck, swallows nervous.
“How are you, anyway? Good?”
He’s asking sincerely.
“I’m fine.” I nod.
He tilts his head. “Yeah?”
“Mmhm.” I nod. “Are you?”
“Yeah, good, I guess.” BJ nods his head towards the offices. “So it’s going good with Jules then?”
“I mean…” I bite down on my lip. “It’s a very base-level relationship.”
“Right.”
“It serves its purpose.”
“What’s its purpose?”
