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Eleanor dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief. “Yes, I know I could have done that, but then I wouldn’t be able to see them safely sent to their new homes.”
Henry nodded, “I understand.” Just then, the home they were planning to visit appeared on the horizon. It was a small house, made entirely of sandstone. It sat in the shade of half a dozen birch trees. “Ah, there it is,” Henry announced quietly.
“Look my darlings,” Eleanor whispered, “there’s your new home.”
Henry watched the way Eleanor spoke so lovingly to her pets. He thought of how great she had been throughout this entire process, taking the pets in the wagon with them, handing the creatures over to new owners, some of them children, and taking the time to explain how to care for each of the animals specifically.
“Eleanor,” Henry asked gently, “I know that we have been over this issue before, but I can’t help but continue to wonder: why don’t you want to have children?”
Eleanor gave an exasperated sigh. “Is this really something we need to talk about right now… today of all days?”
Henry pursed his lips, evaluating whether he should pursue the subject further. “Yes, I think we do. I’ve been watching you this last week, and I’ve noticed that you are not only very good with your animals, but you are also wonderful with children. Every time we drop off one of your pets, you spend ample time talking to the children of the house, making sure they understand the responsibilities and duties that will now belong to them. You make sure they know what each animal likes and you talk to them in a way that they will be sure to comprehend. How does a person like that not wish to have children of her own?”
“I never said I didn’t want to have children,” Eleanor returned, keeping her eyes lowered.
“Maybe you never said you didn’t want children, but I’ve intuited as much. Every time I bring up the subject, you shrink away. Many times, now, we have bargained and each time I only ask for the same thing, but…”
Eleanor cut him off, “But somehow I never hold up my end of the deal.”
“Well,” Henry scratched at his sideburns, “…yes.”
“Let me ask you this, Henry. Why are you so keen on having children? As you said, we talk about this topic regularly. Why are you always pushing the issue?”
Henry cleared his throat. “I told you. My grandmother puts pressure on me. She wants me to ensure the title of Lawson stays in the family name. There’s only one way to do that and so I feel like I have to persist in the matter.”
Eleanor eyed him critically. She seemed to be analyzing his response. “I’m sure that’s part of it. But I also feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
Henry took a deep breath. “I want to have children because…” He hesitated.
Not sure why I’m embarrassed to tell her this.
He started again. “I want to have children because of Wallace.”
Eleanor put a reassuring hand on his forearm. “Go on,” she urged.
“You remember when I told you about how Wallace and I were as boys?” Henry asked and Eleanor nodded at once.
“Of course, you told me about the games you would play together,” Eleanor responded.
“Well, when Wallace was here, I always imagined myself being the best uncle. I would dote upon his children, and I would teach them all the games he and I used to play. Now that Wallace isn’t here… and I won’t get to be the eccentric uncle…”
“You feel like the only way you can honor those memories you had with your brother from childhood is to have children of your own,” Eleanor finished his thought for him.
“Who else will play king and peasant?” Henry asked, turning to glance at Eleanor. She was staring off into the distance.
“Henry, tell me something,” Eleanor asked, keeping her eyes locked on something out toward the horizon.
“Anything,” he murmured.
“What did you want to do?” She shifted in her seat and then looked at him closely. “Before Wallace passed, and you were just a second son, what did you want to do with your life?”
“I wanted to be a clergyman,” Henry replied, and he watched as Eleanor’s eyes widened in surprise.
“A clergyman? I never would have guessed,” Eleanor said softly.
Henry nodded, “Most people peg me as a militia man, as I do enjoy hunting and shooting, but I never wanted to be a part of a large group. I’ve always wanted to have some space from others and live in a quiet way.”
“But clergymen have entire congregations to look after,” Eleanor said.
“That’s true, but they do not have to interact with their congregants every single day. I mean… they probably do… but they don’t have to give sermons every day. Once a week, they stand up in front of the church and preach, but every other day, they travel around their parish, speaking to small groups, visiting with friends and family members. I always thought it would be nice to live in that more reserved sort of fashion.”
“I can understand that,” Eleanor returned. “I’m trying to imagine it now, but I’m having trouble picturing you anywhere else but at Lawson Manor.”
“And I suppose that’s a good thing because had I not become the Duke of Lawson, we never would have married,” Henry added.
Eleanor opened her mouth as if to protest the matter, but then she shut it again quite suddenly. “I suppose that’s true,” she mumbled.
“Now,” Henry said firmly, “I think it’s time that you tell me the truth, Eleanor. Why don’tyouwant to have children?”
