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She was genuinely upset and held him responsible for Roddy’s behavior. He had been so focused on frightening her to stop her hoydenish ways, instead of pulling her into his arms and pouring out his pent-up feelings, that he hadn’t listened for an explanation. What had Roddy done to warrant such a strong response? “What exactly you are accusing me of?”
She rolled her eyes upward, and her plumes danced in the midnight sky. “Since your reacquaintance with my brother, he has forgotten all his duties.”
She pivoted to walk away, then turning back, she said, “Unlike Roddy, I’m not susceptible to your enticements of depravity.”
He grabbed her arm. “Perdita, I have no idea what you’re speaking of.”
“And you talk about me trying to distract you from the matter at hand. You know exactly what I speak of. Roddy and you spending days and nights at Haversham’s.”
“If this is some game you’re playing, you will be sorry that you started it.” His anger toward Perdita was overblown and misguided. The fury was directed at himself and what an unfair hand he had been dealt. Right now, if things had been different, he would have a say in Perdita’s activities, and she’d be in his bed and not have the time and energy for dangerous adventures disguised as a servant.
“I should have known you wouldn’t take any responsibility for your actions. You haven’t changed.”
The accusation was like a kick to his solar plexus. It was the hurt and the disappointment in her voice that was his undoing. He wanted to hold her and tell her that she was the shining light on the grim path he was destined to follow. Always had been and always would be. And he regretted his actions toward her every day. He couldn’t let her go on believing he didn’t love her. It didn’t matter that she would reject him, he wanted her to believe that she was lovable. He had convinced himself that he was protecting her by not telling her the truth about his inheritance, but he only protected himself. He had been a selfish bastard hurting the only person who had ever loved him.
“I haven’t been with your brother at Haversham’s. I haven’t seen Roddy since your ball.”
Perdita stopped and pivoted to face him. Her eyes narrowed as she searched his face for lies. Did she think so little of him? “I haven’t seen him, Perdita. Is he here tonight? He will acquit me of all charges laid against me.”
Her eyes widened and Perdita, who wielded acerbic words like a sharpened blade, stuttered. “But… but you sent him a note. I was with him when he received it. You said he had to meet you at Haversham’s. It was urgent. He left at three a.m. two nights ago to meet you.” She lost all her color and began to shiver.
He pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. She was truly in shock and didn’t react to his ministrations, allowing him to keep his arm around her longer than needed. If they weren’t already attracting attention, he would have taken her into his arms and held her. He hadn’t sent Roddy any note. The instinct that he’d honed during the last few years heightened. Something foul had occurred. Possibilities of treachery and the possible perpetrators created a long list by his role in the silent war waging against France. His enemies were willing to use anyone as a pawn against him. Was his closest friend hurt because of him?
“I’m going to take you home. Is Lady Beaumont your chaperone tonight?” He didn’t want the all-seeing eyes of thetonto witness her distress.
“Lady Beaumont had another commitment but planned to join me here as Lady Billingsworth is a dear friend. I don’t know what other social engagement she could have. It was rather baffling,” she rambled as he led her down the balcony steps into the garden.
“Miss Rothsby is here?”
“Yes, but Lord Beauvoir escorted us.”
Because of her distress, Dash kept himself and his jealousy in check. But he would never allow her to leave with the puffed-up dandy. He wasn’t letting her go again if he had any say.
“I can’t be seen going into the garden with you alone. Not with your reputation.”
“Now you’re worried about our reputations.” He struggled not to say any more. “I plan to seat you on that bench.” He pointed to the stone bench in view of anyone from the balcony. “And then I plan to return to the ball and determine whether Roddy made an appearance with our hostess. All this stress might be for naught. You are not naïve enough not to consider the reason your brother hasn’t returned home is because of a woman.” He couldn’t reassure himself when his spine was tingling, and his nerves were flinching.
“Something is wrong. I can feel it. I might not see Roddy for days. He is always busy, but Reese always reports his comings and goings to me even when he has a mistress.”
She sat on the bench and gazed up at him. Just as she did when she was a young girl. Her gorgeous eyes trusting him.
He raised her cold hand and pressed it to his lips. “I will find him, Perdita. I promise you. I’m sure there is a logical reason for his absence.”
She lowered her face, trying to hide the tears dripping on her cheeks. “You don’t believe it any more than I do.”
“I will send Miss Rothsby to sit with you until I can escort you home.”
