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Faith shot a look at Cole, as if to ask him to explain.
“I don’t understand all men, but if I were to hazard a guess as to why Mac didn’t ask you out it’s because he wanted it to be right, or he never thought that you would ever be interested in him.”
“That’s ridiculous. Have you seen him?” I asked and put my hands in the air.
“Did you forget that I went to his office the other day? Wait, never mind, that was why you were mad at me. No, I haven’t seen him,” Cole said.
“Ignore him,” Faith said and waved her hand at Cole. “Ryan felt that way about Mika, that was why he never asked her out. Well, and the fact that she was his employee. But it happens, hot men don’t ask out women because they’re insecure. Like Cole said.”
“I was never insecure about asking a woman out. I was insecure about thinking that the woman I loved could love me back and I didn’t want to ruin the best friendship I’d ever had. That’s different.”
“Still, insecure, just in a different form. Men can and are insecure. You are who Mac has wanted to be with for quite some time. It’s understandable that he would be worried that he would screw it up.”
“And then do it,” Cole added.
“You never said anything to me about Mac being in love with me,” I said to Faith.
“It wasn’t my place. I did say he had feelings for you, if you remember. I knew you weren’t ready to hear the full extent of those feelings then and I’m not sure how ready you are to hear them now,” she said, giving me a sideways look
“Who wouldn’t want to hear a man tell her that he loves her?” I asked.
“A woman who kicked the man out when he offered to go to Berlin with her,” Cole suggested
“Not the same thing,” I said.
“It is. Do you think he offered to go to Berlin with you because he wanted a vacation? He was bored with life? No. He was willing to give up a year of his life, walk away from his company, his friends, his family, everything, just so that he could be with you. You. If that isn’t a man showing how much he loves you, I don’t know what is,” Cole said, shaking his head.
“He never said it,” I said slowly and looked over at Faith for help.
“Did you allow him to, or did you just kick him out the minute he said anything about Berlin?” Faith asked.
“He talked about how great it would be when we were there, how he would be there for me, no matter what I needed, that it would be this great time for both of us. He talked about writing a book, as if he could just do it. And that annoyed me.”
“He was probably talking out of his ass and didn’t know what he was saying. We do that sometimes,” Cole said.
“It didn’t help me feel any better about him and the situation. I didn’t know if I wanted to go, and it pissed me off that he made the decision for me, or that it was the right one for him. It freaked me out. I didn’t want him going just for me. I didn’t want our relationship and well, me, to have that much pressure. I knew what he was giving up, and it didn’t seem right.”
“Does knowing he loves you change your mind?”
“Yes. Of course, it does. It changes everything,” I said and stood up.
“And what about Berlin?” Cole asked.
“I don’t know. I agree with everyone that it’s a great opportunity and I would be a fool to pass it up. I thought at first, I didn’t want to go because of Mac and not wanting to lose what we had, but now I’m not so sure. I’ve never been able to get excited about it and I can’t figure out why,” I said.
“You’re a homebody,” Faith stated.
“You’re a New Yorker through and through,” Cole said at the same time.
“True, but I should still want to go to Berlin to write my novel.”
“If that is what’s right for you, then yes. But if not, then don’t do it. Just because everyone thinks it’s a good idea doesn’t mean it is for you. If you aren’t sure if you should do it, then don’t,” Faith said. And if you aren’t sure if you should do it, then don’t,” Faith said.
“Exactly. We’ll support you either way. Will give you a bad time about letting a wonderful experience pass you by, but we will support you,” Cole said.
“Don’t listen to him,” Faith said.
“I rarely do,” I countered.
