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And yet there was a part of her that wanted him to stay and find out more. Victoria had to admit she was intrigued in spite of the interaction.
She couldn’t understand what was going on. She was about to get married to Sebastien, so was this her mind trying to find other men attractive. Was she trying to find a way out and hope that someone would jump to her rescue?
Victoria didn’t know what was going on anymore. She just wanted to go home.
The ride home was silent on her part, while her mother sat across from her talking about the other wedding preparations. Most of them didn’t really concern Victoria, but Lady Selkirk kept telling her what was going to happen. Victoria just let her talk, staring out of the window and watching the world go by, the breeze hitting her face like a tickling feather.
Now the anger had passed, and her frustration at nobody paying attention to what she wanted had vanished. Victoria just felt numb now. She didn’t really know what to think or feel properly. Everything was happening around her, and she was just being swept along without any concerns.
She was exhausted from being angry all the time. All Victoria wanted was to be left alone. She hated that nobody was listening, not even her parents. What was wrong with being left alone?
Lady Selkirk said that Victoria needed to marry now before she got considered too old, even though she had barely entered society to meet people. She had friends, but there was nobody of any significance. Her daughter had to marry, otherwise, they would have a dark cloud over their heads.
The scandal over her brother’s death was not going to go away. Victoria knew that. She just wished it hadn’t affected them so much.
I miss Richard. I wish he was here. He would know what to do.
Finally, they arrived back at the house. Lady Selkirk breathed a sigh of relief as the carriage stopped.
“Thank goodness for that! I thought it was going to take forever!” She waited for the footman to open the door and help her out. “Now, we can freshen up and get ready for afternoon tea. I’ve got a few friends coming over, so you need to get changed and prepare yourself.”
“What?” Victoria stared at her. “I need to be present for your friends?”
“Of course.”
“I’m not a doll to be put on display, Mother.”
Lady Selkirk snorted and shook her head in disapproval.
“You really should stop being so rude, Victoria. This is for your own good.”
“How? I don’t even like your friends.”
“Enough now. They’re coming over to help you learn how to behave in society. That’s it.” The Viscountess sniffed and stuck her nose in the air as she turned away. “If you’re going to marry the heir to an Earldom, the least you can do is to behave like a Countess.”
Victoria stared after her as her mother walked away, heading inside without glancing back. She really didn’t want to have anything to do with this afternoon tea. After her embarrassment of fainting in the street and then having to be carried around by a stranger, Victoria didn’t want to be sat in front of several older women who would ridicule her about how she spoke, dressed, and composed herself. Nothing would be right.
Her mother said it was character-building. But Victoria didn’t see this as character-building. More like a character assassination.
And the Viscountess wondered why her daughter didn’t like interacting with many people.
Getting out of the carriage, Victoria gave the footman a nod.
“I’m just going for a walk, Chambers. Please don’t tell Lady Selkirk where I am.”
“If you wish, Lady Victoria.”
“I would appreciate it.” Victoria gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”
Chambers gave her a nod and turned away, heading back into the house. At least the servants paid attention to her. If only her parents would do the same.
Victoria walked around the side of the house and went into the garden. She reached the fence that separated their garden from the sudden drop and leaned on it, watching the sea crashing on the rocks below. Why her ancestors had chosen to build the house so close to the cliff’s edge was beyond her, but Victoria loved the sea. It felt soothing, even with the roar of the waves, to be this close to watch the water.
She needed to clear her head before she did anything else. Otherwise, she was going to either break down or scream. Neither of those would be a good idea in the house.
Things were falling apart. Then again, they had been doing that since the murder. Victoria didn’t know what else to do. She had been content enough to drift through life doing her own thing. There were a few select friends, so she wasn’t completely isolated. But then her parents had to arrange a marriage for her. And to Sebastien Mowbray, of all people.
It was not fair. Sebastien was a nice enough person, but he was also a member of that family. Victoria would rather have nothing to do with him.
