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Chapter 12
Beyond Belief
Though she could not detect just what it was, something seemed wrong to Alicia as they sighted the Gillingham house at the end of the road. She had been so filled with happiness on the walk back from the waterfall, giggling as she and Laurence removed their hands from one another just as they were passed by a gaggle of his field hands walking home at the end of the workday. But now, seeing Mary-Anne sitting in a wooden chair in the garden by the front door, Alicia felt a seed of trepidation lodge in her stomach.
“Another hard day of toil on the farm, brother? I hope he’s not working you too hard, Miss Ramsbury,” said Mary-Anne with a coy smile, rising from her chair.
“No, I—” Alicia protested, feeling a cold hand of panic grip her throat.Does she know that we…?
“Not all of us are so fatigued from our long day of labour and hardship that we need a rest in the afternoon,” Laurence said cheekily.
Ignoring this slight, Mary-Anne held out a sealed envelope to Alicia.
“For me? What is it?” asked Alicia, utterly at a loss.
Mary-Anne’s expression was equally confused. “A reply from your sister, it looks like. To your letter you wrote to her?”
No!Alicia thought as she looked at the creased white paper blankly, her heart falling to her feet. From the sinking feeling in her stomach, it felt as though the cloud that she had been floating atop all day had suddenly burst, sending her plummeting back to earth.
“The messenger must have been paid extra to get it back here in such a hurry,” said Mary-Anne brusquely. “It came not long after noon. I suppose Miss Ramsbury’s sister could have saved her money and gotten it here a little later, with the two of you busy sneaking off to wherever it is you’ve been going all day.”
Laurence did not appear to notice this jab in his direction—when Alicia looked up she saw he was staring at her, his face lined with concern.
“Thank you. Thank you, Mary-Anne,” Alicia said through the fog of concern that had settled over her.
“Aren’t you going to read it?”
Alicia saw that she had set the letter back on the table in the entryway and was wiping her fingers on her dress as though to remove a stain from them. “Oh, er…yes,” she said distantly. “Not at the moment, though. After supper would be best, I think.”
Mary-Anne gave Laurence a meaningful look, prompting him to shrug and chime in, “Whatever’s in the letter, not much she can do about it right this moment.”
Alicia began to trudge up the stairs to clean up before supper. “Besides, I find I can handle your abuse better on a full stomach,” she heard Laurence’s voice floating up behind her. “Perhaps Alicia is the same way.”
If Mary-Anne had an answer to this jibe, Alicia did not hear it. Though sound carried easily up the stairs and through the winding wooden corridors of the old house, she was too lost in worry to notice anything around her.
Grace has written. Herbert will surely be returning soon. I will be returning to my normal life before long.
She paused with her hand on the doorknob to her room. Wasn’t that what she wanted? To go back home, to her own bed? To resume her own normal life?
No…she thought, images of her conversation with Laurence echoing up from her memory.That was what I thought should happen. But it’s not what I want, I don’t think. Not anymore. And now it’s going to happen whether I like it or not.
Alicia pushed right past her mirror and washbasin and collapsed onto her bed in a flood of tears.
* * *
As ever in the Gillingham household, supper was a simple but thoroughly well-made affair. Yet Alicia found herself unable to enjoy the roast chicken and turnips; delicious as it was, it turned to ash in her mouth when she remembered the letter lying in wait for her like a deadly viper in the grass.
Grace is furious,she thought, imagining the angry black scribbles that awaited her in the other room.She blames me for the carriage accident. She claims I have ruined her life. She means to lock me in my bedroom until she finds a man who will marry her in exchange for our entire inheritance.
“I must say, all the country air is agreeing with you very well, Miss Alicia!”
Alicia looked up from her still-full plate, blinking. “What?” she asked Jenny in a snappish voice. Unruffled, Jenny repeated her statement just as brightly as before.
“Yes,” mused Mary-Anne. “I must say, Miss Ramsbury, the extraordinary nature of your arrival here notwithstanding, you are looking more lively and full of health than ever. Don’t you think so, Laurence?”
When this question went unanswered, Alicia looked over and noticed for the first time that Laurence was staring off into space, consumed in his own thoughts. Mary-Anne nudged him under the table with her foot—or kicked him, perhaps, judging by the look of alarm on his face.
“I say, don’t you think Miss Ramsbury has been looking quite well these days, Laurence?” Mary-Anne repeated with a significant smile.
