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Chapter 57
When Dinah called, Lucy was still working on her painting of the pears, though they were beginning to turn brown. Lucy incorporated the browns of it into her work, adding dark blue shadows to make them look even more rotten. Life was ugly, and she wanted her painting to reflect how things devolved. The flowers were already dried-up stalks, the white petals having turned brown. This, too, she had changed accordingly.
When Aunt Joan showed Dinah in, Lucy smiled, putting down her brush and palette so that she could join her friend on the settee. She removed her smock, tossing it over the back of one of the chairs.
“It’s good to see you,” Lucy said, honestly happy to see her friend.
“How have you been?” Dinah asked. She was dressed in a soft grey muslin with long, fitted sleeves, and her hair was arranged in ringlet curls, framing her cheeks. She wore a delicate oval locket on a chain around her neck. She was always dressed flawlessly, as befitted the future Marchioness of Browning.
“Well enough, I suppose.” Lucy hadn’t cried in several days, which was progress. She was still heartbroken, but she had reached a place where she was accustomed to the reality of the situation. She was working on embracing her lot in life as a spinster. Someday, she would be happy again.
“Silas returned the other night,” Dinah said, looking down at her hands, which she folded in her lap.
“Oh.” She wondered why her friend was telling her this, though she found herself curious to know more. “How is he?”
“He’s locked himself up in his study, night and day,” Dinah said. “He’s in a very dark place.”
“I suppose that’s sad for him,” Lucy commented carefully. She didn’t know how she felt, aside from unsettled. It was clear that he felt awful for what had come out, but it wasn’t clear whether it was because he cared for her or because he’d been caught. “What do you think, Dinah?”
Dinah sighed, looking her in the eyes. “I think he truly loves you, Lucy. He says that he does, and would like to call here to apologize and explain. I said I would ask, but that I would do nothing to sacrifice our friendship.”
Lucy, refusing to be swayed, shook her head firmly. “I cannot do it, Dinah.”
“Why not?” she asked gently.
Lucy gathered her thoughts. There was something that she had never told her friend. But she was resolved to tell Dinah, for her friend needed to understand why she could never forgive Silas.
“Several years ago, this very same thing happened to me,” she explained.
“Tell me,” Dinah said softly. She reached out, taking Lucy’s hand in her own.
“I was engaged to be married,” Lucy began. “His name was Edward Russ, and I believed him to love me as much as I loved him. He seemed to understand me in a way that no one else could. We courted, in secret. He said that we should get to know each other without society’s pressure.”
Lucy swallowed. This was the part that hurt. “It turned out that he was courting several other women all at the same time, biding his time until he could find out who had the largest dowry or future inheritance.
“He proposed to me,” she explained. “But it didn’t last long, for he found another—she was to inherit ten thousand pounds upon her father’s death.”
“Oh, Lucy!” Dinah’s free hand went to her lips. Her eyes were wide with shock.
“And her father was very sick, so the inheritance looked to be imminent. I never saw Edward again. He stopped responding to the letters that I was sending him. Eventually, I heard that he was married.
“It wasn’t until I heard more rumours that he was a fortune-hunter that I put the pieces together and discerned his true motives. Since then, I have been far too bitter to seek out another man to marry.
“I believed things would be different with Silas,” Lucy admitted. “He seemed to be attracted to me in a way that I never thought possible. I merely find that I’m disappointed in myself for being tricked again.”
“Let me talk to my brother,” Dinah said. “Can you at least agree to see him, and let him explain himself? Allow him to do what’s right and apologize to you. For I believe, in my heart, that he cares for you—and that you care for him, despite what it seems like he’s done.”
Lucy considered it. That seemed reasonable. Edward had never apologized. She had never seen him again. Perhaps, talking to Silas would give her closure. “Very well. I will see him.”
Dinah smiled, though her eyes were sad. “I wished that we two would be sisters. Know that I wanted nothing less.”
“I know. I wanted the same.”
“I’m absolutely heartbroken.”
“Me too, my dear friend. Even if we are not sisters by law, we will still be as close as.”
Lucy felt better, for having told Dinah about Edward. It felt like she had finally let go of an unbearable burden. She felt lighter, but not happier. Silas’s betrayal weighed upon her soul. She would soon have answers. And an apology, which would perhaps help her to move on with her life.
