AllFreeNovel
Share Us
KWAN
Since finding Saul that morning, the day had gone from bad to worse. The police and an ambulance had turned up, and they’d taken him away, to where I wasn’t sure. Kasem was a gibbering mess, and Li wasn’t much better. Cho and Sammy had turned up not long after the call, and we’d sat waiting for the police to show up.
There’d been questions. Lots of them for all of us but none of us had anything useful to say. It seemed Saul had spent the night in his room alone, Li having slept in Kasem’s room. Maybe what Cho had said had merit. Maybe he was so deep in the closet he couldn’t stand to see someone being, not so much out, but more open about their sexuality than he was.
Unfortunately for us, though, as the cause of Saul’s death had yet to be confirmed, we’d been asked to stay here in Liverpool for a few more days. Although it had likely been a heart attack, the police were investigating until they could rule out suspicious circumstances. This caused us a problem as we only had the rooms for one more night and a train booked for the following morning.
Saul’s phone and belongings had been taken away by the police, so it was going to be up to one of us to sort out the logistics. There was no way Li or Kasem could do it, and by unspoken agreement, the task had been passed to me. I’d managed to get hold of his PA, Cynthia, her loud sobs in my ear until she finally calmed down enough to find out what we needed.
Unfortunately, the hotel had no more spare rooms for us, and she’d only managed to get two rooms in a less than stellar hotel a few streets away. We’d stay here tonight, though. Li would be with Kasem, and I’d bunk in with Cho and Sammy again. The train tickets had been cancelled, and Cynthia had said she’d book a train for our return when we were eventually allowed to leave Liverpool.
I’d have to call my parents, let them know what was happening and that I wouldn’t be returning the next day. I still lived with them. Property prices in Manchester were almost unaffordable for a struggling K-pop artist. We didn’t make that much, and I was also trying to put myself through university. The student loans were frighteningly high, but at least I didn’t have to pay them back until I started earning money.
We were on a break anyway, so I wouldn’t be missing any classes and one of my brothers could cover the odd shift I did at my parents’ restaurant. It was just a fucking inconvenience.
For the rest of the day, we sat around waiting for something to happen, but by 8 p.m., I’d had enough and decided to go to bed. We’d heard nothing more from the police and had no idea when we would.
I’d not heard from Beau either, and quite honestly, I’d given up on him. I was cross with myself, cross with him. I thought we’d had a connection, but clearly I was wrong. The day had got to me, so before I said something I’d regret, I took myself off to the room and lay in bed watching a movie on my phone. The next thing I knew, Cho was climbing into bed beside me. It was after midnight, and I must have fallen asleep. Only problem was, I was awake, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get back to sleep.
Giving it up as a bad job, I got out of bed and dressed quietly, slipping on my jeans and hoodie. I was sure I could find somewhere to get a coffee at this late hour.
I waved at the night porter as I left, pulling my hood up against the cool air. I found the nearest all-night coffee shop and made my way there, ordering a plain black coffee. It was quiet. There was a couple sitting at another table, holding hands and an old guy sitting at another table, hugging his mug to his chest, a sad expression on his face.
Sitting at a table by the window, I scrolled through Facebook on my phone, gazing at the photos of my family. They liked to post lots of pictures: the restaurant, each other, their favourite cats. I smiled, not missing them exactly, but wishing maybe I had someone to talk to about this.
Hana was the obvious choice, but she’d be asleep now. Having twin two-year-old boys wore her out, and when they went to bed, she went to bed.
I had no idea how long we were expected to stay in Liverpool, but I knew I couldn’t sit in the hotel all day either. I’d been bored to tears earlier, and there was only so much TV I could watch.
A whistle from my phone signalled an incoming text, and I scrambled to open it, smiling to see Beau’s name. And here was me thinking I’d missed my chance with him. I still might have done; it’d depend on what the message said.
Beau: Sure you had your reasons. The show was great, but my friend had to leave. His boyfriend was waiting for us.
I laughed out loud, getting a few looks from the other customers. Did this mean he was single?
Should I text him or call him? That was my next question. It was getting on for 1 a.m., so maybe he’d just finished work. I decided to text. Calling wasn’t everyone’s preference.
Kwan: I’m sorry to hear that. I really wanted to catch up with you, but I get it. Maybe we could try again? I’m here for a couple of days at least.
I waited a while, but no more texts came through. Perhaps that was all he had to say. It was late, but before I could leave, another text came through.
Beau: There’s a cafe called Ruby’s at the Albert Dock. I’ll meet you there at midday tomorrow. Goodnight, Kwan.
I didn’t hesitate, writing another message quickly.
Kwan: I’ll be there. Goodnight, Beau.
I had the biggest smile on my face, and the thought that I was here in Liverpool for the next couple of days kind of made my day. I thought of Saul, though, the reason we were here for those extra days, and for the first time that day, I felt a sadness for the man.
He had his faults—who didn’t?—but no one deserved to die alone, and that seemed to be what had happened. I realised then that I didn’t know anything about Saul, other than his drinking and eating habits. Was he married? Did he have children? Did he love someone or have someone love him? My mood shifted from one of happiness to one of sadness and melancholy. I hoped someone had loved him. Didn’t we all deserve that at some point in our lives? I know it was what I wanted. I wanted to be loved and cherished and to love someone in return. I was just wired that way. I know it wasn’t for everyone. Some people lived happily on their own, without the need for that kind of connection in their lives, but I knew that would never be me.
Back at the hotel, I walked to our room with mixed feelings. Saul’s death had been a blow, not just to me but to the group as a whole. What did it mean for us? Who would manage us now? None of us had the know-how to do that. I’d need to speak to Cynthia tomorrow to find out what the future held for Kings. None of us were good enough to make it on our own. We all needed each other in some strange, convoluted way, even Kasem. As much as he was a pain in everyone’s arse, he was the one to lead us on stage.
After seeing Saul’s body yesterday, though, Kasem had retreated into himself, hardly speaking all day. Li had become angry, lashing out at any one of us if we tried to approach him. We all dealt with our grief in different ways. Sammy and Cho had sat quietly, talking between themselves while I tried to deal with everything else. I supposed I was the most rational of us all, the one most likely to take charge, but now, I just wanted to let it all out, get rid of these negative thoughts in my head.
I let myself into our room, surprised to see Cho sitting up in bed on his phone. He looked up when I walked in, dropping his phone to his lap.
“Jesus, Kwan. Where the hell have you been? I was worried.”
