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I’ve been miserable without him but I’m sure that it will pass soon. I just need time to heal. That’s why it’s better if I just push him away now. I’m sure that he’ll get tired of chasing me soon and move on. I just need to stay strong until then.
It’s almost closing time when the door opens and I know without looking that it’s Spencer.
I steel my walls, taking a deep breath before I turn to face him.
“Hey, I brought you some dinner,” he says with a hopeful smile and I can feel myself starting to melt.
I straighten my shoulders and give him my sternest look.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” he says, setting the bag of takeout on the counter.
“Why?” I snap.
All of my anger comes out in that one word and I can’t tell if Spencer is shocked or if this is what he expected to happen eventually.
“Why do you want to bring me food? You pushed me away. You left for a week without looking back. If you want your freedom so badly, then you should leave.”
“I don’t want freedom, Emmy Lou. I was wrong. I just want you. I need you.”
I look away from him, pacing a few feet away.
“I know that you don’t trust me. I know that I’ll have to earn your trust back, earn your love back and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to win you back. I know you don’t believe me right now, but I love you Emmy Lou. I don’t want my freedom. I want you. I want a family.”
His voice cracks on the last word and I stare down at my feet. His words hit me deep, especially after he told me about his parents. He’s been hurt, too, but he genuinely wants to have his own family, to try and be a better parent than either of his were.
I steel my resolve, however. It’s all well and good that he realized he wants to settle down, but I’m not ready to give up my anger just yet.
We stand in silence for long moments until he breaks it.
“I started looking for a house in town,” he blurts out.
His words from last night hit me. He’s going to prove that he’s not going to leave me again and this is his way of showing that he’s not going anywhere.
“I found a few that are close to downtown,” he goes on and I just nod, not trusting myself to say anything else.
There are a few moments of silence before he steps closer to me and clears his throat.
“I’ve started looking for rental properties too. I’m going to open up my own security consultant company in town.”
“The place next door is about to open up for a new renter,” I blurt out before I can think it through.
“Yeah, that might be nice. To be next door to the bookstore… and you,” he says softly.
I look away from him, not sure what to say to that.
I can feel it. My anger toward him is starting to melt already.
I can tell that he’s trying hard and part of me wants to give him a second chance but the other part of me is still worried.
I’m still hurt over how he just seemed to throw me aside for his big plan. He wants freedom, to be able to do what he wants, when he wants and a relationship with me is going to hinder those plans.
It’s only a matter of time before he remembers that.
It also feels like it’s only a matter of time before I give into this attraction between us and give him a second chance.
Chapter9
