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She turns her head and hides her wince, but I know she wants to appear strong, so I don’t comment on her injuries. They’re obvious, and though it pains me to see them marring her beautiful body, there is nothing I can do about them. Getting chosen, however, will go very far.
“I’m to sleep in the hallway tonight, aren’t I?”
I nod, hating that she won’t be near me.
“You know how I feel when you look at me that way,” she says.
I bite my lip, my hand resting on her knee now. “Do I?”
She sits up and swings her legs around, moving carefully to control the pain. Leaning forward, she grasps my face in her hands and kisses me, stealing my breath from my body.
“It warms my heart to know you prefer to sleep next to me.” She kisses me again, parting her lips to taste me. “You’ll be chosen. I have a feeling.”
Eln and her feelings. She gets them sometimes, and they’ve never been wrong; but I hear there’s a first time for everything.
“How can you be so sure? What if Dara is chosen? You’ll be taken from me.”
That’s the truth we haven’t been brave enough to speak aloud. Dara is a strong female and has made her intentions for Eln obvious. She doesn’t get the liberties with her that I do since she isn’t her roommate, but if Dara is chosen as this year’s breeder, thenshe'llget the opportunity to pick whichever comfort companion she wants, and she’s spent too much time eying Eln for me to think she’d want anyone else. I know Eln’s heart lies with me, but if Dara is chosen tomorrow, then Eln won’t have a choice but to leave me.
“Cala, even if she does, she won’t be able to take me from you, not really. You hold my soul, and who could compete with that?”
She kisses my forehead and I find it difficult to remain in the same position any longer. I need to feel her bare skin, need to reassure myself that what this beautiful woman and I have won't suddenly cease to exist if things don't go my way tomorrow.
I slide my hands up her skirt, up the sides of her legs and past her thighs, resting on her hips so I can knead the flesh there. Her breath quickens and I push her back carefully, so she is now laying on her cot, pushing her clothing up as I go.
“We don’t have long,” I whisper, “but I need your taste to rest on my tongue as I sleep, so I can dream sweetly of you.”
She whimpers and widens her legs for me, and I stare up the line of her body as I part her folds, licking her slowly and intentionally until I reach her secret place. I run my tongue more forcefully over that spot and I see the way her body strains against the need to make noise.
“Always so sweet for me,” I say on a rush of hot air. I press my face against her, feeling all her warmth cover my cheeks with fresh affection before slipping my tongue inside. I have to hold her hips in place as I pleasure her, because she wants to ride and buck against me, but I know we can’t make any noise.
“Please, Cala. Please!” Her voice is so quiet, yet so tortured. I know what she’s asking for, and I’m more than happy to oblige. I get onto my knees to give myself better leverage, pulling some sheets off my bed to slip underneath my body as I do so. If the no names and one-letters find blood on the ground they might guess what we were doing. If I bleed on the sheets I’m supposed to be sleeping on however, then we are in the clear.
“How can I tell you no when you beg so prettily? Tell me, Eln, when I name you as mine, how shall we celebrate?”
My voice is changed now, her arousal re-forming me from the inside out. I slowly slide a finger inside her heat, pausing until she answers me.
“I’ll service you, cover myself in your fertility, until we’re both slippery.”
That shouldn’t be as erotic as it is, but in the compound, having blood is the highest mark of womanhood and is considered holy. We are not shamed for what our bodies do by nature, it is celebrated. To have your lover join with you while you bleed shows complete devotion and respect.
“You’re too good for me, but you’re still mine,” I tell her, slipping a second finger inside her body to force more quiet noises from her. I can’t help but want them, they sustain my very life force.
“Yours, always,” she admits.
My fingers move faster and faster, stroking her inner walls as I take her in my mouth again, sucking, nipping, biting, anything to elicit a response. It all does.
I can feel the tension mounting in her lithe body, so delicate under my sturdier frame. I’ve always had wider hips, fuller breasts, softer curves than most of my sisters. No matter what I eat, I carry the weight of health on my bones. Having Eln before me like this makes me feel so much stronger.
“Feed me, sweet girl.” I lick her side to side, putting pressure on her special place exactly how she likes it. When I coordinate with my fingers, I feel her legs begin to shake, and then I know I’m close. My whole body is taut as I seek her release, needing to hear her come as much as I need the ground below me to hold me up.
My fingers move faster, almost bruising now, and then she’s flooding my tongue with her sweet release, coating it. I drink it down like the gift it is, not stopping until she collapses. I ease her down gently, cleaning her fully with my mouth, before pressing a firm kiss to her soft mound.
I inhale her scent before I re-clothe her, my arms already feeling achingly empty as she sits and wraps her arms around me in preparation for dragging her cot out.
I hold her as long as I dare before using the ewer to wash up, and then I scoot myself to my own cot. Eln helps me to get comfortable then rubs my lower back to ease my pain briefly, her face much more serene now that we’ve come together.
“I know it hurts right now, and I wish I could comfort you tonight, but tomorrow I’ll be able to pamper you and love you properly. It’s just one more night, my heart, just one more night.”
I meet her dark eyes and hold them until we both smile, that dangerous bloom of hope spreading once more inside of me.
With one more reverent forehead kiss, she tucks me in again and then folds her cot, slipping out of our small room to sleep.
I look out the small window high on our wall, praying for a sign from He Who Watches, anything to reassure me that all my dreams aren’t about to be shattered. A soft breeze kisses me in response, bringing with it the sharp scent of pine and crystal starlight, easing me into pleasant dreams.
