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When I pulled into Sydney’s drive, it was nearing five. I wasn’t surprised to see some of the lights on in the house either. Sydney had to have been back for a few hours. On one hand, I felt like a fucking heel for leaving her when I was supposed to be here spending time with her, but on the other, she totally set today up.
She knew early this morning when she gave me the tidbit about Grace that the one line would be enough for me to forge through the wall Grace put up between us. She knew this morning when she suddenly had playdate plans, that it would give Grace and me the opportunity to work things out. Sydney may not realize the extent of our friendship, what Grace and I had once or the walls that had been placed since, but she did know, and reminded us often, that Grace and I complimented one another well.
I parked Grace’s Mazda and was going to make a show of putting her seat back to try and lighten the moment, but thought better of it when I glanced over and saw that Grace hadn’t moved. She was stone still, her hands still trapped between her legs and her gaze on some faraway place. Her breathing was deep and audible, yet not completely even, and her chest rose sharply with every breath.
She was trapped and I did that to her.
My heart fucking aching in my chest, I quickly rounded the car and opened the passenger door, kneeling beside her but keeping my hands to myself. I wasn’t entirely sure if I should touch her right now.
God, I wanted to touch her.
To hold her and ease her worries.
“Gracie, look at me,” I said softly. Her eyes were still focused somewhere over my shoulder and while they were wet, she wasn’t crying. She sat there, stuck…
“Grace. Sweetness. Baby, look at me,” I said again, this time reaching up to put my hand on her cheek, gently swinging her face toward me. Her eyes were slow to follow but when they locked with mine, she blinked.
“Hey.” My words were quiet but my mind was not. “Do you need anything? Can I do anything for you?” Did she take things for these attacks?
She shook her head, her face still so fucking withdrawn. “No, I’m fine.” She started to go through the motions—unbuckling, grabbing for the thermals—and I stood back. When I reached for her, instead of taking my hand, she handed me Sydney’s things. “I’m going to go. Thank you for today, Sawyer.”
Dumbstruck, and feeling like my entire world—my entire universe—was shattering, I watched as she rounded the car and took over the seat I just left, putting the little car in reverse and driving away.
