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I grinned nervously and she shook her head.
“No need to be nervous. You’ll be perfect. I’ve seen the two of you dance. You’re magic together,” she said confidently.
I really was too good at getting people to believe whatever I wanted them to.
Too fucking good.
I giggled with contrived giddiness as I took the arm she was offering and strode to the door. She guided me down a few lesser used hallways to the back of the reception hall where I planned to make a rather big second entrance into the biggest after-party I’d ever planned.
Once we arrived at the elegantly carved wooden doors, Jenny opened them with a flourish. The dim hue of red and pink lights flittered across the landing, spiraling down the marble staircase and casting an otherworldly glow. I took a step out to see everyone seated at their respective table, the ones Dean and I had worked on for hours together in order not to seat Auntie Laura next to Uncle Joe because they’d had some sordid affair together that pissed off his parents, among numerous other issues he informed me of along the way.
Family drama was really quite amusing.
The crowd applauded as I walked down the stairs, careful not to slip in my red-bottomed shoes. Once I was at ground level, Dean swept in from the right side and curled his arm around my waist before pulling me into a deep kiss.
I pressed my lips against his, playing the part of a happily married bride.
Very soon, I’d turn his world upside down.
He pulled back and smiled down at me, his regal blue eyes dazzling. He was such a good person, so giving and kind. I knew it gave him great pleasure to see me smile so that’s what I did.
I usually didn’t feel guilty for doing my job.
With him though, it was beginnin
g to take its toll.
If I had a choice, I’d stay. But I didn’t. The two of us were never fated to be one and I just had to accept that.
Chapter 2
For once, I allowed myself to really enjoy the wedding reception. There was an open bar and endless glasses of champagne. The cake was especially delicious and when the time came for the tables to be cleared, the excited energy of the crowd rose along with the music.
The first few beats of Passenger’s ‘Let Her Go’ played over the speakers and I drew in a shaky breath.
I don’t know why that song spoke to me. Maybe it was romantic. Maybe it said something about me, but none of it really mattered. Dean offered me his hand and I took it. The two of us strolled onto the dance floor and the sound of our song echoed throughout the room.
The dance had been choreographed. It was something he wanted to do, and I’d jumped at the chance. He’d hired one of the top choreographers in the country for private lessons together, which gave me even more time with him to deepen the whole ploy.
“Only know you love her when you let her go.”
His eyes held mine and in them, I saw how steadfast, strong, and perfect he was. Dean was the kind of man I’d love to call mine, but I knew I would never be allowed such things. A life like mine didn’t allow for love or even the smallest bit of happiness.
My life was work. Every day. Every hour. Every minute.
Within a week, I’d be onto the next mark with a new city, a new name, and a new life, and I’d never get to look into those soulful eyes again. I’d never see him again after this was all over.
I memorized his face. His angular jaw just covered by the lightest stubble that I adored so much. His exotically high cheekbones and the thick eyelashes that framed those ocean blue depths. I studied the dimples in his cheeks that only came out when he smiled at me and that cute little birthmark by his left eye that crinkled a little bit when he laughed.
We flew across the dance floor and I swung my hips in tune with the music, listening to the gentle strum of the guitar and the soft notes of the piano beat deep into my soul.
“And you let her go.”
Dean had wanted to know why I’d chosen this song and I’d told him it was simply because I liked it. He hadn’t asked why but as the song ended and he pulled me in for a deep kiss, I finally realized what it was.
It was my way of saying goodbye. Maybe he’d realize it long after I was gone.
I kissed him as I would kiss a lover because he was the closest thing that I was ever going to have to one. Our tongues danced together, and the audience cheered, but I was lost in that kiss, lost in the gentle feeling of his fingers on my bare shoulders and lost in that ghostly apparition of love that I was so desperate to experience just once in my life.
