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SIX
My talk with Seth still felt surreal—as if it never happened. In fact, when I’d woken up this morning in my bed, I’d had a moment where I thought I’d dreamed it all. Had he really held me while I cried in his chest? Had he really comforted me, holding me until I fell asleep in his arms?
It all almost seemed too good to be true.
But I was hoping like hell that it hadn’t been a dream. Yesterday, I had felt more content than I had in months now.
But I had no way of seeing him at school to know. I’d stayed home today. My eyes were too sore from crying, and I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. Not to mention, my temples were pounding from the excessive crying I’d done yesterday.
My phone buzzed beside me on the bed. I groaned and smacked my hand around on the mattress until I found the device. I squinted at the screen, and my heart skipped a beat in my chest when I realized the message was from Seth.
Saw you’re not here today. You good? -Seth
I drew in a deep breath, my eyes running over his words a billion times before I managed to get my fingers to work enough to send him back a message.
Just tired. Headache. -Bailey
I set my phone back down beside me and fell back asleep in record time, a small smile on my face. He’d texted me. He actually gave a damn.
As much as I wanted to talk to Seth, my brain was dying to just shut down for a little while. And I had to admit, it wasn’t that bad of an idea.
* * *
I slowly openedmy eyes when I felt someone’s fingers running over my forehead. A gasp ripped from my lips in surprise when I saw Seth sitting beside me on my bed. I frowned and glanced at the clock on my nightstand, seeing it was only lunch time.
“Um, hi,” I croaked, confused as to why he was here.
He gave me a small smile. “Told you I wasn’t going anywhere, Bailey,” he reminded me. I closed my eyes, tears burning in the back of my throat. “Look at me,” he coaxed. I slowly opened my eyes, unable to deny him. “If you don’t feel good, I’m here. You hear me? You’re not alone.”
I swallowed thickly, nodding my head at him. He leaned over and brushed his lips to my forehead. “Scoot over,” he said softly.
Without hesitation, I slid over more on the bed, moving closer to the wall. He kicked his shoes off and pulled his shirt over his head before laying down beside me, pulling me into his arms. I breathed out a soft sigh of contentment as I placed my ear over his heart, listening to the steady drum of it.
He was here. With me. He wasn’t breaking his word.
He brushed his fingers down my spine, just like I loved. “Get some rest, babe.”
Not even thinking twice about it, I wrapped my arm over his torso and snuggled closer to him. His arm tightened around me in response, and he buried his face in my hair.
For once, the dark thoughts in my head were quiet, and I went to sleep in Seth’s comforting embrace.
* * *
Therapy wentthe same as it had the last couple times. I made zero progress, and the only thing I left with was more guilt and more dark thoughts.
Do you think it’s fair to your family to be so closed off, Bailey?
I stared out the passenger side window of my dad’s car. He was quiet as well after speaking to my therapist about my progress—or rather, lack thereof.
“I’m going to stop your therapy appointments,” Dad suddenly spoke when he parked in front of the house. I turned to look at him. He sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel before looking over at me. “They seem to only make you feel worse, Bailey, and my goal is to help you feel better.”
I nodded. I didn’t know what to say. I was going because he wanted me to go. That was the only reason I had agreed to these stupid appointments in the first place. I’d known from the get-go that they wouldn’t help me.
Without a word, I slid out of the car and walked over to the dock, just needing some fresh air and time to myself.
This world would be so much better without you in it.
I flinched as I stared down at the dark water. Tears burned in my eyes.
