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Wouldn’t they be better without me, though? I mean—fuck—wasn’t I already fucking up my kid, and it wasn’t even born yet? Didn’t our moods affect our unborn babies or something?
That urge to scream ripped through me again, and for the first time, I didn’t smother that need.
I let it out.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, hot tears running down my cheeks. I dropped to my knees on the dock, pounding my fists against the boards until my hands bled.
I hated this.
I was so tired.
My brother’s arms wrapped around me, and he held me close to his chest, rocking me side to side as he gently spoke to me, trying to get me to calm down. I curled my fists into his shirt, sobbing out my pain, my blood staining the material.
“I’m here, Bailey,” Trent whispered. “It’s okay. Let it out, sis. Let it out.”
* * *
Trent
Bailey was a fucking train wreck.That was the only way I knew to describe what she looked like. Her eyes were dull—hollow. They lacked life. It was worse than normal.
I wanted to yell at Dad and Mom for this. Therapy hadn’t helped her; it made her worse. The tiny bit of progress I’d seen when she’d napped with Seth was gone. That fucking lady had seemed to zap it right out of her.
My sister was dying inside, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
My phone buzzed on my chest. I sighed in irritation. I’d told Melanie that I was busy tonight—couldn’t talk. Bailey needed me. She could be so needy sometimes, and while I knew she was latching onto me because every other male figure in her life was shitty, it was annoying.
But when I looked at the screen, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t Melanie.
It was Seth.
“Yeah?” I quietly asked, not wanting to wake up my little sister.
“Bailey hasn’t responded in a couple of hours,” Seth said, worry in his tone. “Is she okay?”
I sighed softly. I was honestly surprised he was worried enough to call me. I hadn’t really expected him to be so invested in her this fast.
“No,” I quietly told him. Seth growled low in his throat. “She was screaming on the dock when I came home from work. I haven’t left her side since,” I informed him.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Seth swore. “Do I need to come over? Fuck, I told her she wasn’t alone—”
“I’ve got it,” I told him, but I was glad to know that he was willing to drop everything if it meant being there for her. “But I might talk Mom and Dad into keeping her out of school again tomorrow. I don’t think she’s going to be up for it.”
Seth was quiet for a moment. “Fuck it—I’m coming over,” he told me. I sighed. “Trent, I know you want to be there for her, but I’m the reason for all this bullshit.” At least he had balls enough to admit it. “I’m going to fix this. You’re not losing your sister, and I’m not fucking losing her either.”
With that, he hung up. I set my phone back on my chest and went back to staring up at the ceiling. Bailey was passed out beside me, curled up on her side in a ball. She’d cried herself to sleep—wouldn’t look any of us in the face. I knew her breakdown this afternoon had something to do with her appointment. It didn’t take a genius. I knew the wrong therapist could do more harm than good. I’d experienced that shit myself.
Even Dad had said she’d looked messed up inside after her appointment, though he had no idea what the therapist had said to her. But that look in her eyes had been enough to make him pull back on therapy.
I knew Dad was trying to keep the past from repeating itself. Mom—fuck, she was doing her best, but she didn’t know what to do. She was terrified of sending Bailey off into the deep end with the wrong word.
All of us were lost.
We had no idea how to save her—not even me. Her depression was so different from mine.
And that shit gutted me because I used to pride myself on Bailey and I being super close. She told me everything. Yet, she wasn’t telling me what was going on inside of her head.
I was pretty sure she was terrified to speak it into existence.
