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Because this Lachlan King hadn't been naked with me.
I felt like a voyeur. I felt like I was lying.
I hated the feeling.
He continued. "The thing is you believe this one thing your whole life. And there's always a part of you that wants it to not be true. But still you believe that it is. Then you get information that it's in fact not true, and it spins your whole goddamn world. Because what does that mean for who I am? What does that mean for what I'm about? For the last five years, I've thought I was to blame. That I was the reason Charlie was gone. Now to find out that's not true, that part of my identity doesn't exist anymore."
“I'm so sorry."
He shrugged. “It's not like you did it."
"No, but that's a horrible thing to find out."
“It should be a relief, right? But somehow it's not."
"Even if you thought you were responsible I just want to remind you of what you just said to me… You weren't. Sometimes bad things just happen."
He gave me a nod and a wobbly smile. “Yeah. Sometimes bad things happen." He sipped his beer. “I'm not sure why it's so easy to talk to you."
”It might have to do with the fact that I decided to stop hating you."
"Told you I'd wear you down," he said with a laugh.
“You are persistent. I will say that."
“I should probably apologize to you."
I frowned. “For what?"
He gave me a sheepish look. "The pulling you in the cupboard thing. Maybe that wasn't my best look."
"Oh, you're fine. You were right. I wasn't training you. And not training you could get you killed out in the field. That's not what I want."
"So you do like me."
I shook my head. "Only a little. I guess you're not always annoying. You aren't always arrogant."
He laughed. "Well, there's that. So look at us, being friends."
"Not quite friends," I laughed.
"So if we're not friends, what are we?" he asked.
Why did it feel like he was closer now? Leaning in, so close I could almost touch him.
“I don't know. I guess I'm your trainer."
The crease in his brow deepened. "And why are you a trainer? You're really good. You should be in the field."
I winced. “It's a sore spot."
"Let me guess, hurricane Gabe?"
"On the first try. Well done," I muttered.
"That's bullshit."
“I don't want to talk about my brother."
