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4. Trip
BE PATIENT WITH me, Roy had said. But blazes, it was hard.
In the corridor, I spun towards my room to take my luggage. But when I gripped the handle of my suitcase, Roy was right behind me, his fingers brushing mine. “Let me. You’ve received a hard blow on the head.”
And another in my heart. I withdrew my hand. We were in my bedroom. Strange ideas might cram my mind if I touched him again. “Thank you, for healing me.”
“My pleasure.”
My face heated. Grabbing my coat, scarf, and hat, I avoided his gaze, lest he see my confusion. We walked through the manor in silence. The building was almost empty now.
In an unusual—unusual for England—display of good weather, rain hadn’t fallen in weeks. The rough terrain of the road that snaked through the countryside, heading for London, was as hard and compact as tarmac. No muddy puddles or slick ground. Alas, the cold hadn’t relented. A freezing wind blowing from the Highlands was battering the south of England. Frost covered the barley fields with a cold glimmer. Ice hardened the surfaces of lakes and streams. The shimmering view was beautiful, but chilly.
Roy’s Cadet wasn’t exactly warm, but the blanket he’d provided offered some comfort and restrained my wild lust. At least we weren’t bogged down by mud and rain. But without the rain battering against the roof of the car, an awful silence stretched between us. Only the wind whistled across the green expanse of the Devonshire hilly landscape. He gripped the steering wheel, focused on the road. The occasional horse-pulled cart or brave cyclist slowed us down, but otherwise Roy drove at a fair speed. Seemingly unaffected by the cold, he’d dispensed with his jacket and remained in his shirt and waistcoat, shirtsleeves rolled up to show his corded arms. It seemed that da Vinci himself had designed Roy’s body, taking particular care of the details of his lean muscles and masculine profile.
I squirmed on the supple leather seat. “Are you going to travel back to Raven Park after you leave me at Crawley Farm?”
“I might remain in Hertfordshire for a day or two. To enjoy the countryside.”
Suspicion was a shiver up my back. Roy enjoying the countryside? Rubbish. As if Raven Park were a metropolis. He was up to something. But a direct question would lead me nowhere. My best chance was to let him talk a bit.
“How are you going to find evidence about the Nazis’ plans for the war?”
He smiled, one of those devastatingly charming smiles that caused my toes to curl and my temperature to rise. “You feel better. You’ve started asking me questions again.”
“Questions you don’t usually answer.”
“True. So why break with tradition now?”
Annoying, impossible, and cranky man. “I can help.” I wrapped the blanket more tightly around myself. It smelled like Roy—clean soap and that spicy musk that was all male. “You don’t have to do everything alone.”
“I never said I’m going to work alone.” He shrugged.
The road became less bumpy as we joined the northbound motorway. A few cars and trucks crammed the road, and Roy slowed down again.
“I’d like to know what your plan is. And it’s not a question, as you can see,” I said.
The smile vanished, and his neck muscles contracted. “Last time I involved you in my plan, you almost got killed.”
“You couldn’t foresee the pogrom.”
He nodded. “Exactly. Unpredictable things happen. Dangerous things. I’m not going to risk your life again. It was a mistake to start with. You’re a cadet, just arrived at Raven Park, completely inexperienced, and I dragged you into a situation you weren’t ready to face.” He glanced at me. “And I nearly lost you.” There was a tenderness in his voice that melted my heart.
“I was happy to help you.” To be with you.
His fingertips brushed my hand gently. Even through my woollen gloves, his heat stroked my skin. “Enjoy your Christmas. Then you’re going to start a new training course at Raven Park. You can choose whatever you want to be. Choose a job that doesn’t involve bullets or being beaten. You can stay safe in an office, especially if a new war is coming.”
That sounded dull. Yes, being caught by the SS had scared me witless. But after having seen what the Nazis were doing, I wasn’t sure I wanted to find a cosy spot in England and pretend the world wasn’t plummeting into darkness. That would be what my old self would have done. If I’d learned one thing from my ordeal, it was that I was stronger than I’d thought. Maybe not as brave as Roy, but I could face danger and find the strength to go through it.
He went to withdraw his hand, but I gripped it, perhaps with too much desperation. “I’m not a fragile doll that needs to be protected.”
“I don’t think I can do my job, knowing that you’re somewhere in danger.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I want to put ten thousand miles between you and the Nazis, lock you up somewhere until I’m sure the world isn’t burning, to be sure that nothing can ever hurt you.”
A different type of ache throbbed, not about lust, but more about love.
I gripped his fingers harder. “I’ve proven I can take care of myself.”
With our hands still entwined, he changed gear and sped up along the road, overtaking a slow truck. “I know, but what if I want to protect you?”
