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“His name is Winters. Just ignore him. I do.”
I trail behind Luke, my feet struggling to keep up with him and his long legs. “Is he your bodyguard?”
He stops in his tracks and turns to look back at me. “And what would a pretty girl in a sundress know of bodyguards?”
Have I given too much away? The suspicion in his eyes makes my heart thump a beat. “I was just joking.” The lie falls easily from my tongue. I feel like my whole life has become one big fabrication. I’m lying to Luke about who I really am, and I’m lying to my father about staying in the house.
He relaxes a little and rubs his thumb over the back of my hand which is still clutched in his. “He’s here to protect me.”
Now it’s me who’s feeling suspicious. “A businessman needs protection?”
He doesn’t miss a beat when he says, “When your family is worth as much as mine, the answer is yes.”
That makes sense and it goes some way to soothing me. It’s not like I think Luke is not genuine. Or that it matters. He is just something to pass the time until I am taken to my doom.
“Telling me you have money might be a dangerous move. What if I’m a gold digger?” I lift my lips at the corners, contradicting my words with humour.
“Are you?”
“I’ve found that money doesn’t buy happiness,” I say, and it’s not a lie. I have money, or rather my father has money, and I’ve never been happy a day in my life from the moment my mother died.
“Now that we can both agree on.”
He leads me out into the cold air, and I shiver a little against the chill as it caresses my skin. Winters heads over to talk to the valet while Luke pulls me against his side to keep me warm.
“You didn’t think to bring a coat?” He shrugs out of his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. It’s an oddly intimate gesture that both confuses and warms me.
The women in the queue are wearing next to nothing and must be freezing. They don’t seem to care though. I get the impression fashion takes precedence over being warm for these girls. My reason for not wearing a coat is because my jackets are kept in the mud room downstairs, and it was too risky to claim one.
“No one else here is wearing one.”
Luke continues to stroke the back of my hand as we wait for the car to be brought around.
Winters steps forward as the car comes to a stop. He opens the back door and Luke and I slip inside. It’s warmer within the car, though not by much.
“Are you still cold?” Luke asks.
I nod. It takes effort to stop my teeth from chattering. Luke leans forward as Winters climbs into the front seat, and he orders him to put the heating on. When he sits back, he pulls me against him, rubbing his hands up my arms.
Tired, I lean my head against his shoulder, but I’m thrilled at the prospect of being with him again. When I’m with him I feel like a different person, like I could escape from my destiny. I forget about the storm that is coming for me. I am just Sariah.
Or Alice.
There is something freeing about being somebody else, even if it means that everything between Luke and me is based on a lie. I feel those shackles around my wrists loosen a little bit, giving me room to breathe, room to be myself, though in truth I have no idea who Sariah is. I’ve always been whoever my father decreed I should be. His pretty little marionette that dances to whatever tune he plays.
I’m done dancing. I want my life to be my own. I don’t know where things between me and Luke are going, but I want to build on it, explore it further if I choose. I want to be in charge of my own fate.
But it’s a dream.
I am my father’s little bird, caught in a gilded cage. If I defy him, he will tell the world I am not his. I don’t know what kind of threats I would face because of that, but I know it would not be good to find out.
People like me get swallowed whole by the monster that is the criminal underbelly of London. I wouldn’t stand a chance out there on my own, and my father—Declan—tells me that often.
I need to stop referring to him as my father. He has shown he does not care for me as a parent should, so I should not afford him the title. He does not deserve it.
I’ve thought many times about trying to find my father, my real one, but I have no idea where to start. My mother kept that secret and took it to the grave with her. I doubt Declan knows either, because he would have started a war if he had.
“Are you okay?” Luke asks. “You disappeared into yourself there.”
