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I…I will never forgive myself.
“I can’t,” my words come out as a whisper. “Reilly, you’re right. I fucked up. I made this mess, and now I’ve got to figure out how to unfuck it up.” No sign of satisfaction comes across his face. This is something he doesn’t want to be right about.
Rush wouldn’t lie about this. There’s no way.
My sassy, beautiful Tara is in danger because of me.
I betrayed her, not the other way around.
It’s fascinating just how much a moment of clarity can bring you to your knees, just how much this clarity signifies the downfall of my future.
They both stare at me for what feels like an eternity. If they never speak to me again, I wouldn’t blame them; I couldn’t blame them. She’s hurting because of me. I couldn’t trust her. I couldn’t be the man she needed. I’m the monster in this situation. The reality of what I’ve done is crashing down around me and I don’t know how to stop it.
“Now that you’ve admitted you’re a fucking idiot, let’s get to the real issue at hand—finding Tara,” Rush interrupts, handing me a tissue from his desk so I can clean the blood from my pounding face. Rage still fills his features, but he knows the best way to get her back is to make sure we’re all working together. Three of us is better than one or two.
Tara.
She begged me. She begged me, and I looked at her like she was the monster.
If I would’ve known, I wouldn’t have left her there with that bastard. Hell, I shouldn’t have left her at all. All I saw when I read their conversation was red. I couldn’t think of anything else besides her betrayal.
I felt like a fool, considering I had just told her in the car that I wanted to make this marriage work for real. Even though that’s true, it’s not a plausible excuse for what I did to her.
Nothing will ever excuse what I did.
When we find her, there’s no way she’ll ever forgive me.
I sure wouldn’t.
She’s going to try to leave me when I get her back. She’ll never trust me. I’m not sure she’ll even be able to look at me.
I push my aching ego aside and turn my attention to Rush. “Have you been looking for her?”
His lip pulls up in a snarl. “Of course, I’ve been looking. When your jackass self wouldn’t tell me where she was, I had to go to her parent's house to find out what you did. I know nothing about this man besides his name and that he comes from a family of rich ass doctors. That’s all I could find, there’s either nothing to find, or he’s smart enough to hide it. Considering how he fooled your dumb ass, I’m going to go with the notion that he’s smart enough to cover his tracks. Did you find out anything while you were there? You know in the brief time you had to turn your back on your wife?”
I deserve that. I didn’t exactly find anything out about him, but I do know who he might be associating with. “There is something. When I was looking at the texts between him and Tara, a notification popped up on the screen. It was from an unsaved number. They were talking about taking the Snakes down. I think he’s working with the Draaks or with someone who doesn’t like the Snakes. It’s…it’s another reason I thought she was fucking me over. That she was trying to get information on the Snakes to take them down from the inside.” I dip my head in shame from how easily I gave up on her.
“Fuck,” Reilly hisses. I can feel his pain without even looking at him. He knows firsthand how agonizing it is to get caught in the crossfire of a gang war. I know that’s why he flipped out in my office when I told him about the Draaks' threats to Tara. I now realize that it could all be connected. Zayan is working with the Draaks, and they are after Tara for him or as a distraction so he can get to her. I honestly don’t know, but I have a sneaking feeling.
I continue, “I don’t know exactly how they’re connected, but the text was definitely about destroying the Snakes. And who wants to destroy the Snakes more than the Draaks? No one.” Rush takes a few steps back, glaring at me with rage. There’s something about the painful look in his eyes that tells me he’s keeping something big from me. It definitely has to be about him and her.
I already have to deal with Reilly, I don’t want to share her with someone else, but I’m not sure I even get a say in that anymore.
I don’t fucking deserve her at all after what I did, but that won’t stop me from having her. Tara is still my wife. When we get her back, I will do whatever I have to do to remind her that I can be a good husband for her.
She has my fucking last name. I’ll do anything to find her and keep her safe. If it comes down to it, I’ll take her and keep her locked away for as long as I have to, to ensure she’s protected.
I won’t make the same mistake again. I’ll show her that I’m not going anywhere. That I won’t give up on her again. I’ll prove to her that I can be the man she needs.If it’s not too late.
Peasant, you’re mine.
Once we save her from that monster, I’ll show her just how much. From the day I stepped foot into Star of India, she’s been mine.
Forever and always, peasant.
What the fuck is happening right now? I was excited to get my girl back after barely seeing her all day, and now I’m not going to get that chance. She’s gone. She’s not coming back.
I pull myself together the best I can, before glaring at Nix again. My eyes shift back and forth between him and Rush, part of me wishing Rush would’ve knocked his ass out. It would be the least he deserves right now for being the world’s biggest dumbass.
