AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m trying.” My voice is so soft I’m unsure if he even heard me.
“Try harder.” He turns his back to me while his fists clench at his sides. I can tell he wants to punch my face again, but he also realizes nothing good will come of it right now if we have to be separated again. Just as I’m about to open my mouth, I hear shuffling behind me.
“What are you whining about now?” Reilly’s slurred voice cuts through the tension, my body instantly stiffening. The slurring and laziness of his voice make it sound like he’s still drunk. When he stumbled in last night, he was clearly plastered. Rush practically carried him to bed and tucked him in. This is his form of coping; it’s the only way he knows how.
He reeks of alcohol so badly it’s hard to breathe without feeling like I’m getting drunk with him. “Jesus, you smell like a brewery.” I turn around, taking in his bloodshot eyes and the vodka bottle hanging loosely between his fingers.
“And you look like the same asshole who pushed Tara away and put her in danger.” His words are meant to slice right through me, and it works. My fun, carefree best friend is looking at me with so much disgust and hostility.
“Being drunk isn’t going to bring her back any faster.” I try to remain calm. He’s hurting. I can feel his pain so severe it hurts me. But being drunk won’t bring her back. We need him in the right mindset, and he can’t do that if he can’t see straight or even stand up for more than five seconds.
“Nothing is going to bring her back. She’s gone.” He chokes back a sob. It’s been one night and he’s already writing her off. He doesn’t mean this shit, it’s his anxiety talking, but it still pisses me off that he would even suggest it.
Fuck, we are all a mess. I didn’t realize how quickly we’d all crumble without her. Reilly is soaking up every drop of alcohol under the sun, Rush is ready to destroy every shred of humanity he has left to find her, and I’m moping around like the world's biggest baby.
It’s all pathetic. We need to act like grown-ass adults with our heads on straight.
“Reilly…” Rush tries to push past me, but I block him with my arm. I need to do this. I have to be the one to bring my best friend back to the here and now. He needs to take it out on me without interference. I’ll be his punching bag as long as it means he’ll come back to us.
Reilly focuses on me like I’m the only one in the room. “You did this. You couldn’t for once in your goddamn life think of someone else besides yourself.” He punches at my chest as he moves closer to me. His hits are sloppy, not packing his usual strength, but I let him continue. “She made me feel. She makes me feel. She…fuck! She makes me so happy, and you ruined it. You and your fucking ego.” Tears stream down his face as he starts to wobble on his feet.
“I know, man. I know. I fucked up. It’s all on me.” I pull him in tightly against my chest, letting him silently sob against me, like he used to when the nightmares woke him up in the middle of the night. He’s trying to fight my hold, but I keep him in place. “We’ll get her back. I promise you; we’ll get her back.” I grip him tighter, trying to remind him we’re in this together.
My brother might hate me right now, but he’s not alone in his pain. He has both me and Rush. Rush looks at Reilly with a softness I’ve never seen from him before. These two have had lingering looks with each other ever since Tara came along, making me curious about what’s going on there.
I'd ask them about it if we weren’t in the middle of mass chaos. I don’t give a fuck if they want to be together, but right now, it’s going to have to be put on the back burner until things settle down. We all need to be focused on the most critical matter—finding Tara.
“Listen. I take responsibility for my actions, but we need you, Reilly. We can’t do this without you, but you can’t help if you can’t even stand up on your own. You’re going to sober up, and then we’ll get her back. Got it?” He pulls back from me, looking at me with his bloodshot eyes and nods solemnly.
“You’re right.” He keeps nodding, his eyes unfocused like he’s lost in thought. “I’m still mad at you. You’re still an asshole and I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive you, so this changes nothing.” He makes sure to remind me of what I’m never going to forget.
“I know.” I nod back at him.
“Oh, and fuck you,” Reilly adds.
I can’t help but almost chuckle at his abrasive tone. Yeah, I deserve that. “Now, go take a shower and get it together. We’ve got a lot to do.”
“She has to come back.” The sharpness of his voice matches his face as it morphs into pure determination. We’re losing precious time to get her back. I’m just lost on where to go from here. No one seems to know this motherfucker. No one seems to remember him, and the people who know him, won’t talk. He’s untraceable. The minuscule information that I’ve been able to find on the internet about Zayan is vague and utterly useless. Nothing that shows who he is or what he is. He’s a mystery, and I fucking hate it.
“She will.” She will come back. I just hope she’s still my sassy, stubborn wife when she does. Reilly stalks off, hopefully, to go shower, leaving me and Rush to pick up where we left off.
I won’t sleep until she’s returned. I will die before I give up on her again.
* * *
Forty-eight fucking hours.
It’s been forty-eight long, agonizing, torturous hours since I handed my wife over to the monster that haunts her dreams. Forty-eight hours since I last saw the green eyes that live rent-free in my head. Forty-eight hours since I gave up the best thing that’s happened to me since Reilly came into my life.
Rush and I haven’t slept a wink since we’ve been searching for her. How can I when she’s in danger because of me? So much time has passed, and we still have nothing. No lead. No sign. Absolute jack shit.
My fingers run over the cold, black stone in front of me. A burn radiates through my skin with each inch I touch. I met with Viper and Manek earlier to get an update, and somehow, I ended up here afterward.
It’s only been a few months, but it seems like forever. I’m free now that he’s not here. I can truly be myself, but it still seems like I’m letting him keep me trapped under his thumb.
Am I a terrible son to not care that he’s gone?
The only reason I went to the funeral was for Mom. I’m the only one she has left. I couldn’t let her go through that alone. Seeing her fall apart broke my black heart. They may have had their problems toward the end, but I know she still loved him.
