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“Not right now.” There’s only so long that I can keep doing this before it pushes us apart forever. I need to be honest with myself and Marnix, and I have to do it soon before we keep falling back into this same pattern.
I’ve been back from my mom’s for a little while now trying to process what happened there. I had the lovely privilege of talking with my little bro since I’m the only real father figure in his life.
That was not fucking fun. I definitely didn’t want to hear about what he does in his room while Mom is at work. I know I’ve been there, but still, I don’t want to know what that little nasty is up to. Mom has two jobs, so she’s constantly hustling trying to make it. I give as much as I can, but she puts it away for my siblings’ futures. She doesn’t like taking “handouts” from me. Even though she raised me and I wanted to do all I could to help her out, she still doesn’t like feeling like she can’t do it on her own.
I shake my head, wiping those images from my head. Movement on the camera catches my eye, putting me on full alert. Nix drives up the driveway like a madman. As soon as the car comes to a stop, Tara jumps out like a bat out of hell just as Nix puts it into park. Today must not have gone well, judging by the anger I can practically feel through the screen.
Heading out of the security room, I meet her just as she storms through the foyer. “Hey,” I greet her. She doesn’t stop, doesn’t even glance my way when I speak to her. “Tara.” She just keeps going, barging up the stairs. I race after her, stopping the bedroom door from closing with my hand as she tries to slam it behind her. “What’s wrong?” I slip inside and close the door behind me.
She paces in front of the bed, chewing her thumbnail. She seems more confused and hurt with anger overwhelming her emotions. I step up to her and stop her with my hands on her biceps. “Tara, look at me.”
Her anger-filled jade eyes meet mine. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she growls.
“Did he do something to you? I’ll kick his ass if he did.” I knew it was a bad idea to let him take her. But we had no other choice. Honestly, I also thought it would give them a chance to actually talk shit out. Looks like I’m dead wrong. Or maybe they did talk, and it resulted in this.
“I can take care of myself!” she snaps, “Fuck. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to talk about it.” I squeeze her arms.
“Okay, that’s fine. What do you want to talk about?”
She stares at me for a minute, the wheels turning in her mind. “Nothing.” Before I can reply, her lips are on mine with an angry, passionate force. She uses sex to let out her feelings and I shouldn’t let her but fuck, she feels so good. She’s got pent-up anger and tension, and at this point, she’s doing much better than she was when she got here. She knows what she needs and wants. I don’t want to stop her from having that control over herself anymore. Something has triggered her sense of control today and she needs an out for that.
Her arms snake around my neck as she presses her luscious body against me. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I slide my hands down her soft curves until they palm her perky ass. She smells like fried food and mango juice, but I don’t care. On her, it smells delicious.
Deepening the kiss, I dip my tongue into her mouth as I swallow her needy moans. I walk her backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed, and I let her go, pushing her onto the plush mattress.
The anger in her eyes fizzles out, getting replaced with pure passion and lust. “Rush,” she breathes. I know what she’s asking before she says anything else. “Please. I need you.” My cock loves that as it grows behind my zipper.
“I shouldn’t.” She goes to protest, but I cut her off with a finger to her lips. “I shouldn’t… but I can’t stop myself right now unless you want me to. I’ve been patient, doing whatever you need me to do to heal. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, Tara. If you’re not ready or don’t want this, I need you to say no now. I need you to tell me what you want. You’re the one in control, and if you feel like you’re ready, then I’m good with that. But you have to tell me you’re ready. I won’t be upset either way, but I don’t want to push you.”
I’m dead serious. If she doesn’t specifically tell me no, then I don’t know if I can stop myself with her looking up at me with flushed cheeks and lust-filled eyes, as she’s panting for me. Tara reaches up, grabbing the collar of my shirt. “Rush… I’m ready. So ready that I’ll fucking combust if you don’t touch me right now. I think I’ve been ready for a while, but I wanted to wait and make sure. So please, have your way with me. If it gets to be too much, I’ll tell you, but I need you to shut up and fuck me…please.” I smirk at the little please she adds at the end.
Be careful what you wish for. Gripping her shirt, I pull it off in one clean motion exposing her beautiful tits in a pink lacy bra. “Fuck,” I groan.
“Hurry up,” she pants.
“So impatient, my little warrior.” I unbutton her jeans, sliding them down her luscious body. “What the fuck?” She grins up at me like she knows exactly why I’m reacting this way. “Such a naughty girl. You aren’t wearing any panties. Seems to be a common theme for you.”
She shakes her head, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. Reaching out, I place my thumb perfectly on her clit, applying a little pressure but not moving it. Just that movement has her starting to squirm. “Did you decide to be a naughty girl before or after you knew Nix would be spending the day with you?”
She freezes, knowing precisely what I’m insinuating. “Before, of course,” she growls, the pitch of her voice higher than usual.Such a sweet little liar.
“Oh baby, don’t lie to me…or I’ll leave you soaking the sheets with your dripping little cunt not getting the release it so desperately desires.”
She narrows her eyes on me, finally giving in. I go to move away from her to show her that I’m serious, but she stops me. “Fine.” She’s gripping my wrist so my thumb can’t leave her needy clit. “After. I decided after I found out he’d be taking me. Now fucking touch me.”
So damn sassy. I move my thumb in circles, hitting the perfect spot as her eyes roll back in her head and eventually flutter closed. “Why did you do it?” I ask.
“I-I honestly don’t know,” she says breathlessly, grinding her pussy against my hand. This time I believe her. Sometimes we do things and don’t really know why. Just like I don’t know why I care about how they’re getting along. Deep down, she cares for him but she needs to figure out their relationship on her own. I just might push and prod a little more than someone else might.
“You can’t stop thinking about him, can you? Even though he hurt you. You still want him, don’t you? You want him like you want me and Reilly.”
She’s still in the moment when she answers, “No, I can’t. I can’t get rid of him. He’s like a fucking parasite.” He might have hurt her, but I’ve seen his guilt eating him alive ever since. Everyone likes to think he’s a heartless, entitled prick, but underneath the fancy clothes and expensive sports cars, he’s just like the rest of us. I think Tara can see that. I think she saw it before he ruined it all.
She notices him.
She knows he sits outside her door every night. She knows he’s beating himself up. I even think she knows he loves her. He may not know that yet, but everyone else can see it. They both love each other, with their issues and all.
A part of me still loathes him for what he did to her, although I can’t hate him forever.
