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That’s interesting.
“Can you explain what you mean?” Reilly asks once Rush’s breathing has slowed a little.
Rush looks at me one more time with disgust before he steps back, leaning against the wall opposite from me. He’s on edge, his muscles are so tense it looks painful, but he stares at Reilly again, who gives him a nod of encouragement.
“Nix let Zayan take Tara. He let that fucking rapist, piece of shit, scumbag have her. Now she’s gone. She’s gone, and I can’t fucking find her.” Panic laces his voice as it cracks with each word. “I…I can’t find her. He could be doing anything to her right now.”
My body stiffens at his words.
“Rapist? What…what do you mean?” Reilly stammers as he slides down the wall like his legs just gave out.
“Zayan. Fuck. I promised her I wouldn’t say anything until she was ready. It’s her story. I promised and I fucked up. She’s gone. I could have done something. But you.” Rush points a shaky finger at me. “You pushed her away, Nix.” He’s freaking out, a manic expression covers his face, but I still don’t even know what he’s talking about.
“Explain what the hell you mean,” I demand angrily.
“Zayan and Tara were together when they were younger. High school sweethearts, to be exact. She was supposed to marry him because their parents wanted that. But he…he fucking abused her. He would drug her and rape her. He tore her down, fucked with her head, and destroyed her mentally and physically. Fuck, he almost killed her. He gave her so many drugs that she nearly overdosed and died. She woke up in a hospital and he just vanished. He finally left her alone, until recently.”
“He…He what?” I stutter, and at the same time, Reilly yells, “Fuck!” Looking over to check on my best friend, I find his head buried in his hands, his fingers angrily pulling at his blond locks.
“He came to Star of India and tried to harass her. Luckily, I was there. He didn’t want to back off, even got the shit beat out of him when he put his hands on Tara, but he seemed to find it entertaining more than anything. After he finally left, that’s when she told me what had happened. She begged me not to say anything and I promised I wouldn’t, but I fucking regret it. I should have said something. Her family doesn’t even know. She’s been suffering in silence and now she’s going to go through it again. He has her, and he’s not going to let her go, not until he breaks her for real this time.” His voice is hoarse, croaking out each word. The emotion filling the air is stifling. It’s suffocating.
So many thoughts are rushing through my mind right now. What if she lied to Rush about Zayan in order to get closer to him? That would make sense seeing as they needed to find shit to take down the Snakes. What better way to get information than get close to the man who knows all my secrets and has access to all of them.
Or she was telling the truth, and I just left her with an abusive asshole.
Why would she let Rush beat the hell out of him if what she told him wasn’t actually the truth?
Why would she lie about a story like that? She’s a pain in the ass, but not a sick liar like that. Right? I don’t know what I even know anymore.
I…shit. I don’t even know what to think.
I can see Rush shattering through his pained expression. It’s a reflection of how I feel in my soul. Reilly simultaneously looks like he’s going to be sick and that he’s going to kill me.
What the fuck did I do?
My stomach drops, threatening to rip from my body completely.
Rapist.
He’s a fucking rapist and abuser.
He’s her rapist and abuser.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I did this.
I pace across the room, trying to process what Rush just told us. I left her in the hands of a monster. Her monster.
No.
I saw the fucking texts. It was her number, I’m sure of it. There’s no faking that, right? Fuck, even I know how ridiculous that sounds. You can fake anything in this world, but the messages were so real. They seemed too personal to be faked. They had information he couldn’t have known. Not without some intel.
“You’re wrong,” I spit even though the pain in my chest tells me I’m the one who’s wrong. That I’m the bastard who's trying to reassure myself that I did the right thing. I have to fight back to make myself feel better.
My feet instinctively stop in front of Rush and I stare into his dark, angry eyes. “If he is the monster you say he is, then she wouldn’t have been texting him saying she loves him and wants to be with him.”
“Texting him?” Rush asks, confusion etched on his face.
