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“I never knew you had this side to you.”
He shrugs. “There’s probably quite a bit about me that you don’t know.”
I grab a chip with three jalapenos on top and shove it into my mouth. “Delicious.”
“Their cheese is the best.” He takes one of his own and begins eating.
“So, tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Something about yourself that I don’t know.”
“Well, you’ve discovered my greatest secret.” He raises both hands. “I love mini golf.”
I gasp, feigning shock. “What! You don’t say!”
Tarnley chuckles. “I know, shocking but true.” He takes another bite, and we sit in silence while both of us finish eating. “I’m assuming you know I love to take pictures.”
“I did figure that mystery out on my own.”
“I also rather enjoy horseback riding, cooking, and competitive shooting. Sometimes on horseback.”
Jalapeno juice burns my throat as I nearly choke on my food. “I’m sorry,what?You mean to tell me you shoot guns off of the back of a horse?”
“I do. That particular hobby is rather new, though, since day walking is a recent development for me.”
Unable to tear my gaze from him, I stare. “Competitive shooting on horseback.”
“It’s rather fun. Daring even.”
“And pretty badass, I have to admit.” I continue eating.
“That’s precisely what I was going for when I started doing it. Badassery.” His grin is completely and totally contagious. “Do you have any hobbies I’m unaware of?”
I consider then shake my head. “You know about my love for reading, the fact that I can crochet, and that I love to spar.”
“I do.”
“I think you pretty much know everything there is to know about me.”
“No other big secrets?” he asks, lowering his voice. “Nothing along the lines of being a secret member of the Astor line?”
“No. That is definitely my biggest secret. Though, I cannot cook to save my life.”
He snorts. “That is something I am rather painfully aware of. I still recall the burned grilled cheese fiasco of nineteen ninety-nine.”
Laughing, I shake my head then take another bite of my nachos. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“How could I forget? I burned the shit out of my hand trying to get the melted cheese and charcoal toast out. Speedy healing or not, searing your palm on a burning toaster hurts like hell.”
Chuckling, I recall all of the time we spent together. Time that shifted greatly after we bonded. In that way, we grew closer, but in all other ways—the ways that truly matter—we drifted. “Why did we grow so far apart?”
Tarnley sighs. “I really don’t know. I imagine it had something to do with Allison’s death and the bond.” He meets my gaze, expression somber. “I hate that it happened, though.”
“Me, too.”
“Not even the decade you didn’t speak to me over the onion rings was as bad as that.”
I snort. “You literally acted like an ass because I wanted a second helping.”
“I did not!”
And just like that, the tone of the evening shifts once more, and I’m happily listening to Tarnley recant what happened from his point of view, regarding the basket of onion rings that I’d only used as a motive to pull away from him.
Truthfully, the bond terrified me.
And because of that, I’d let my friendship suffer. We’d lost so much time, all because I’d been afraid of what my feelings for him meant. But never again. Fear can be a useful tool in some situations.
But with love? It’s nothing but a reason to remain unhappy. And I’ve been unhappy enough for ten lifetimes.
